


A New Path

by luminarose



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Force Bond (Star Wars), Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, Master & Padawan Relationship(s), Minor Original Character(s), Other, Padawan Reader (Star Wars), Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:07:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 33,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28830951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luminarose/pseuds/luminarose
Summary: You couldn't remember exactly what happened the day your Master disappeared, all you could remember was what came before. And what came after.The terror you felt. The Fear.And as all Jedi know, Fear is the path to the Dark Side of the Force.***After the disappearance of your Master, you felt lost. You didn't know what the future had in store for you. Fear consumed you, but you had to choose: either succumb to those fears and leave the Jedi Order, a place you've called home all your life, or accept a new Master, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and try to overcome those fears.Of course, however, with every new change comes new obstacles. And Master Kenobi brought plenty.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Reader, Obi-Wan Kenobi/You, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 6
Kudos: 65





	1. The Accident

"Tell us what happened, Padawan, from the beginning."

***

It was a simple mission. As Jedi, part of our responsibility is to seek out other Force-Sensitive beings and try to find anyone suitable to join us. Finding a child who had a strong enough connection to the Force was rare, but vital to keeping the Order alive. 

My Master and I were sent to the Outer Rim to search for new potential younglings. It was a mission that was sure to be boring.

"Couldn't the Council send anyone else to do this mission?" I asked, absentmindedly, as we boarded the ship.

"I sense that you're disappointed by the Council's decision." My Master responded. "Do you not trust them? I should think that it's an honor the Council trusted us with finding new younglings."

"It is, Master. However, I can't help but feel as though our skills are better suited for more important tasks."

My Master, Sinna Ballari, was a Zabrak woman, who had an intense loyalty for the Jedi Order, and trusted the Council's decisions unwaveringly. Even in small cases, such as this one.

"Patience, my Padawan." She chided. "This task is as important as any other, even if it lacks excitement."

"Of course, Master. Im sorry."

When we left the familiar planet of Coruscant, I couldn't help but shake when the chill of space hit my skin. Setting a course for the planet of Ryloth, we went into hyperspeed. With what time I had, I used it to continue my training through meditation. I was a Padawan in the Jedi Order, but I was close to completing my training and becoming a Jedi Knight. It was this thought that drove me to push myself to becoming a better Jedi.

Clearing my mind wasn't hard anymore, even with the constant buzzing of our ship. Centering myself, I began to breath in slowly. As time passed, I felt the Force surrounding me. I also sensed Master Ballari's force signature in the cockpit. But beyond that, I could feel the Jedi Temple.

It radiated with _light_ and _warmth_ , shining brightly through the Force, even as we travelled further and further away. The warmth was comforting, reminding me of the feeling of home, wrapping around me like a blanket. Pulling my focus back to myself, I cleared my mind, allowing for my connection to the Force to grow.

It didn't take long for us to reach our destination, or at least it didn't feel long in my meditative state. When we arrived near Ryloth, I felt a slight pull. Since the Force lives in every living thing, it was common for large gatherings to have a minute presence through the Force. In this case, the pull I felt came from the city of Lessu, the planet's capital.

When we landed on the surface, Master Ballari and I strolled around the most populated areas of the city, feeling out in the Force for Force-senstives.

"What do you sense?"

Sinna was a quiet person, only speaking when she felt she had to. Knowing this, I knew that she was testing me. Scanning through the area, I reached out, trying to find something. It was loud, but not in the hearing sense. The emotions of the people of Lessu surrounded me, unrestrained. Anger, excitement, disappointment, joy, and so many other feelings flooded my senses.

"I can't sense anyone," I concluded. "I can't focus, Master. Their emotions are drowning anything else out."

I had always had a knack for sensing the emotions of others, even trained Jedi Knights sometimes have to shield their inner emotions from me. As a youngling, I was told that this meant that I had a talent in the Force. Now, though, I knew that it could also have a negative impact, especially when searching for something else.

My Master nodded, thinking to herself. "Take a second to clear your mind, (Y/N). Focus less on the surface, their emotions, and focus on their _center_. It's much like how we meditate, you have to find your center before you can build on it."

Taking her advice, I tried again. This time, I didn't let the emotions overwhelm me. I tried to focus on a nearby vendor, who was currently dealing with a customer. On the surface, she felt irritated. Digging deeper, I felt her impatience, then boredom, and finally calm. A slight, but steady sort of glow. Her center.

Now knowing what I was looking for, I began to feel out further. Past the nearby shops, local pubs, and fountains. And suddenly, like a small tug against my robes, I felt a pull. It was small, but strong, familiar sensation. The Force.

"There." I pointed down a pathway, a bit away from the busy parts of Lessu.

"Very good."

We began to move away from the main part of the city, and the streets became quiet. I couldn't help but feel slightly excited about the new skill I had learned, and the fact that there even was a presence to sense. Even though it was more likely that we would find a Force-senstive person who would be too old to become a youngling, the possibility was enough to give me a renewed sense of importance.

The pull was subtle, but eventually we came upon one house around the outskirts of Lessu. A large Twi'Lek family lived there, we soon discovered. We were greeted inside, a welcome I wasn't expecting. However,as my Master informed them about the reason we were there, they were understandably more distrustful and uncertain of us. I remained silent while Sinna spoke to the parents of the house, choosing instead to look around from where I stood.

The two adults were holding a small child, barely more than a year old, by the looks of him. In the room next to us, I could sense three others. Their emotions varied from being content, to restless, to annoyed. It wasn't long until I heard an argument arise from the room. Two voices became loud as the children began to fight. Asking for the parent's permission, I politely asked if I could check on them. I was once again surprised by their compliance.

Upon entering the room, I found two girls fighting with each other, over a doll that had been thrown, but was now stuck on top of a space that was too high to reach. Noticing me, the two became quiet and slightly fearful, as they did not know who I was. With an amused grin, I looked at the doll and reached out with the Force. With a simple gesture, the doll peacefully floated into my hand, gaining a gasp of awe from the two. The third child, who was slightly younger than his sisters, looked as if he was simply happy that the shouting had stopped. Handing the doll back to the sisters, I focused on the boy, with slight curiosity.

"What are you doing?" I asked in Basic, crouching down to his level.

He looked to be about two or three, as he played with a toy ship and figures. The boy began to show me his figures, telling me each and every one of their stories. He stopped on the two he held in in hands, placing them near the door of his toy ship.

"They're soldiers, on a special mission!" He exclaimed, happily.

"Oh?"I hummed. "A mission? What kind?"

"They're looking for something...I'm not sure what though. But that's why they've got to find it!"

I smiled fondly at his childish game. "They look like they've traveled a long way...I hope they find what they're looking for, little one."

"They did!"He beamed. "They came all the way from Coruscant!"

It took everything in me to not let my shock consume me. I sat there, blinking in disbelief for a moment. Could he? I took a second, feeling out for the pull that brought us here. Sure enough, the boy in front of me had the slightest aura of the Force surrounding him. The presence was so gentle, I began to understand why I hadn't immediately sensed who it was.

"It seems my Padawan has been playing with your son while I was talking."

The familiar voice of Sinna snapped me out of my state, her stare revealing no discernible emotion. Rising to my feet, I softly apologized and returned by her side.

"No, do not apologize." She shook her head. Her gaze fixed on the boy, who stared back in awe. "Hello there, young one."

As my Master spoke to the boy, I felt a wave of both acceptance and fear roll off of the Twi'Lek couple standing in the doorway. It seemed that Sinna had convinced them to let us train the child, should he also agree to go.

The boy was uncertain, of course. But eventually my Masters words and his parent's acceptance gave him enough comfort to agree. When we left, there was a tearful goodbye from the family. Taking one of the boy's hands, we began to return back to the ship. The child began to pretend that the toy ship in his free hand was flying around. While material possessions were frowned upon in the Jedi Order, I knew it would bring comfort for the big change ahead. After all, we weren't back at the Order just yet.

Just as we were about to reach the ship, Sinna suddenly stopped in her tracks.

"Master?" 

She stayed silent, staring off. Following her gaze, I found a lone vendor, standing next to a bar, selling what looked like random trinkets. I watched with curiosity as my Master approached him, and even buying an item from the back of the stall. When she returned, I once again gave her a questioning look.

"Not now, (Y/N)," She quickly hushed, just barely hiding her sudden concern. There was something wrong. "We must get back to the ship. Quickly now."

I gave her one last look, reaching out to feel her emotions. The only thing I sense was one small spark of fear, before it was snuffed out. Grasping the boys hand tighter, we returned to the ship. After settling our young guest into one of the ship's compartments, I went to speak with my Master, in the cockpit. 

"Master, I-"

"(Y/N), listen to me." Her tone was firm and serious. "We must speak to the Council immediately. Send them a transmission informing them that it is _vital_ that we see them as soon as we return."

"I don't understand, Master. What's wrong?"

Sinna sighed, pulling out an item. A small, pyramid-shaped device that looked hardly useable. At first glance, it seemed perfectly normal, save for the occasional flicker of red light. However, the energy it gave off was... wrong. Dark. Although we were not exposed to much of the Dark Side, it was similar to any negative emotion you feel. But this was just pure energy from the Dark Side of the Force. It wasn't like the calm ripples of warmth that I felt at the Jedi Temple. It was _cold_ tendrils, reaching out for something to latch onto. Even now, I was fighting a sudden urge of fear.

"You sense it now." She stated, as if fact. "This device, whatever it may be, it deeply connected to the Dark Side."

I nodded, silent now. "I understand, I'll contact the Council immediately."

Racing off to the nearest communications panel, I relayed a message out to the Jedi Council informing them that we had found a potiential new Youngling, and about the strange device. I emphasized how important it was that we spoke to them. As I did so, Master Ballari began to set our course for Coruscant. But before we could enter hyperspace, we had to leave the atmosphere of Ryloth.

I went to check in on the boy, in the resting compartment of the ship. Like before, I entered the room to see him playing with the ship again, only now I felt his disappointment. Crouching down, I spoke softly, not trying to disturb him.

"What's wrong?" 

The boy sighed, showing me the toy ship. Upon closer inspection, I noticed that one of the wings had been clipped off. He shook his head, saying that his ship crashed. Comforting him, I lifted the ship into the air with the Force.

"What're you talking about? See, it still flys fine." I joked.

He smiled a bit, before turning to face me. "Will I be able to do that too? The big lady said I could, if I went with you!"

I chuckled. "Yes, but only if you focus on training. It takes a lot of skill to be a Jedi, and lots of practice."

"So you're a Jedi, you and the tall lady?"

"Well, kind of, little one." I smiled. "Master Ballari is a Jedi Knight, but I'm still just a Padawan learner... It's kind of like-"

Just then, Sinna's voice rang throughout the ship. Then I felt it. The wave of the Dark Side. The fear, the hate, the **freezing** aura. Unlike anything I had ever felt. I couldn't stop the terror that went through me, engulfing me. My mind was anything but clear now, and time seemed to blur.

My vision became blurred and muddied, and my memory faded.

But I remember feeling cold.

So terribly _cold_.

_Cold and afraid._

_And then-_

_***_

"And then... I can't remember anything else."

I stood before the Jedi Council, alone as the Jedi Masters stared at me, trying to read what I was feeling. I had woken up in my personal quarters, right before being summoned. I didn't know how or when I had gotten there, all I knew is that my Master was nowhere to be seen, and I had not seen the boy since I awoke.

"Master Windu, you found Padawan (Y/N) and the child?" Plo Koon spoke, announcing a fact I had not known.

Mace Windu nodded, a grim expression on is face. "Yes..they were aboard the escape pod of the main ship, with a commlink that was transmitting the same message they had sent to the Temple."

He didn't mention Sinna at all...

_Did that mean?_

Master Yoda, the oldest of the Jedi Masters, turned to face me, his eyes squinting. _What did that mean? Why was he staring like that? Where was my Master?_

A chill went up my spine.

Yoda stared, clearly concerned. "Great fear, there is, in you."

"For Master Ballari." I answered, trying to stomp out my fear. _All I had to was clear my-_

"No," Yoda interjected. "Deeper, it is."

I couldn't say anything in response, only looking down in shame. Fear wasn't the Jedi way, but it was all I felt in this moment. I was missing time. Missing the only part of the incident that mattered. _Why had this happened? What caused it? **What** was that wave of fear?_

There had been a moment of silence looming over my head, suffocating me. All the Jedi Masters on the Council kept staring at me, almost like they were waiting. My heart began to beat harder, causing a ringing in my ears. It almost became too much. Until..

"Natural, it is. To be afraid," Yoda spoke. I opened my eyes, not realizing I had closed them in the first place, to meet his gaze. "but this fear, consume you, it should not."

The way he spoke, the gentle but calming tone he held, was so much like that of my Master's. If the thought would not go against the Jedi Code, I would almost say it was parental. Much like the Twi'Lek couple from Lessu. Comforting. A warm feeling returned to me, the Light, as my head cleared. Regaining my bearings, I tried standing tall before the Council again.

I nodded. "I won't, Master Yoda."

The Council seemed to be pleased by my response, save for Mace Windu, who gave me another uncertain glance.

"Given the current information we have regarding this...device. It is clear that it had a special connection with the Dark Side of the Force." Windu stated. "Then, with the disappearance of Master Ballari, and the missing time from Padawan (Y/N), its clear that there is outside interference."

"But from who?" Plo Koon questioned.

"We know that there has been Sith movement for some time now, ever since Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi's confrontation on Naboo. It can not be too far fetched to say that the same could apply to this situation."

I remember that I had heard about the incident when I was a youngling. It had been the first time a Sith had been seen in centuries, and resulted in the tragic end of a Jedi Master. It had also resulted in the addition of a fellow peer into your ranks, a few years younger than yourself. I believe his name was...Anakin Skywalker.

"Not enough knowledge, do we have, to act." Yoda concluded. "Identity of the Sith, we do not have."

Another silence spread around the room. By this point, I wasn't quite sure what I was still there for. I had told my side of the story, or at least as much as my memory allowed. Fortunately, some of the Council seemed to sense this.

"We should discuss the pressing matter regarding Padawan (Y/N)'s training," Master Shaak Ti suggested. "Given that we do not know enough about the incident to discuss it further."

My training. _But if Master Ballari was missing....then that meant..._

"Padawan, there is a fear in you," Mace pointed out, again. "ever since you have arrived, it has been constant. In a way I have not seen before. I'm afraid that makes me uncertain about your future here."

_What? My future?_

Windu looked at me, with a seriousness that made every other person's presence dissipate.

"You must make a choice, starting now. Until Master Ballari is found or until you are placed under the guidance of a _new_ Master, you must rid yourself of the fear that is currently _overflowing_ from you. That, or we will have no choice but to remove you from the Order. Fear is _not_ the Jedi way."

It wasn't even a choice. I had worked towards this my entire life, and up until now I was close to becoming a Jedi Knight. I would be lost without the Order.

"I understand, Master Windu." I stood tall, despite the slight shake in my leg.

I had to crush my newfound fear, or else I'd be kicked out of the Order.

Fear was not the Jedi Way.


	2. A New Master

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After months have passed, you continue to struggle with your anxieties throughout your daily life, all while wondering when you will continue your training.

Life at the Jedi Temple was different after that day.

Without Master Ballari there to continue my training, I had to hone what skills I had gained on my own, under the guidance of the Jedi Council. Days flowed by where I had thrown myself into my fighting skills, lightsaber techniques, and control over the Force, and would end in total exhaustion. Only to start over again the next day. During the rare occasions that I granted myself a break, I would spend my time reading through the Jedi Archives, trying to understand what may have happened during our mission.

Even with the help of many Jedi Historians, I still couldn't find answered about the strange device, or how exactly it was related to the Sith. What I could find was an explanation for the wave of negative emotions I felt, right before the memory faded. The hate, the fear, the confusion... it was clear that they came from a Sith. The Sith do not restrain or hide their emotion, and that unrestrained energy can be felt heavily through the Force. It didn't help that I had a knack for picking up on others' emotions so well.

_But if it came from a Sith, why didn't we try to fight? And if we ran, why didn't Sinna come with us in the escape pod?_

I frowned, for a moment, a small flicker of doubt seeping in.

 _Was **I** the one who ran? Was that why I was the only one_ found?

With a deep breath, and a shake of my head, I rid myself of the negative thought.

_No, I never would have abandoned her. And with the child on board, it made sense why Master Ballari would not fight. The child's safety was more important. But still... why wasn't she-_

"It's rather late for all this reading."

A voice called out, from a length away. It was only then that I realized that it had begun to get dark outside, and that the once-busy halls of the Jedi Archives were now mostly barren. I was surprised to see a young man, standing and staring at me with curiosity. Although I usually would have scolded myself for not sensing him, I noticed how well his Force signature could blend into the energy of the Jedi Council. Like he was almost as close to the Light of the Temple as you could be.

He was older than I was, but not by much. I noticed that he didn't have a Padawan braid, meaning that he was at least a Jedi Knight. His hair was blonde, but had a bit of red mixed in, which gave it a slightly orange tone. He was handsome.

The man came forwards, steadily, and took a look at the page I was currently reading about the Sith. "Now why would a Padawan be reading an extensive look into Sith History?"

His blue eyes held the same steady curiosity as before, never wavering. I blinked, a bit caught off guard by the sudden conversation. "I thought I'd look into it, so that I could be prepared for anything..I suppose."

"Hm. You're surprisingly wise for a Padawan, such as yourself." His lips turned up into a smile. "Your Master has taught you well."

The man looked only a handful of years older than myself, causing me to be a bit confused by his comment. And at the mention of my Master, I couldn't help but pause.

"She has." I breathed out, slowly, trying to quell the small ripple of sadness.

"Regardless, I advise that whatever reading you chose to continue, should wait till tomorrow. If you keep working yourself like this, you could wear yourself out."

"You're right, thank you."

Taking the man's advice, I left the Jedi Archives, with a warm feeling of comfort I had missed. Returning to my personal quarters, I began the final step of my daily routine: my meditations. It was the least taxing of tasks that I could do that would build upon my training, and my nightly sessions had led to an improvement over my connection to the Force.

At first, it was difficult. The fear I had felt from that day lingered, haunting me. I would wake up and wonder if something bad would happen, even though the more rational part of me would say that the Jedi Temple was the safest place I could be. Once I finally found peace, I focused on building my mental barriers and amplifying my connection with the Force.

I used the warmth I felt from the energy of the Temple to rid myself of the cold fear that plagued me. While successful, I couldn't help but notice that the warmth I felt was not as intense as it once was. Perhaps it was just in my head, but Sinna's absence left a small hole in the glow of the Force.

Eventually, clearing my head became easy, even if there was a stray anxious thought that slipped through occasionally. In building my barriers, I found it easier to both hide my small, constant worry from the Council while also working through it as much as I could.

Now all that was left was for the Jedi Council to place me under another Master's guidance. Since the Battle of Geonosis, an event that happened shortly before my Master's disappearance, the Jedi have been short-handed on fully-trained Jedi Knights. Despite this, I still felt as though they would've found a suitable Master for me.

Aside from my training and personal readings, I had been given a new temporary role, while I waited on the Council. With Master Yoda's supervision, I was responsible for training some of the Younglings. With the skills I had learned from Master Ballari, and what talents I already possessed, I would teach them how to sense through the Force, whether it be a person's emotions, presence, or inner thoughts.

I was surprised to see the Twi'lek boy from Lessu, whose name was Zigbec, was in one such class.

Facing the children, we all sat in silence, as I taught them how to meditate. Naturally, getting them to focus and settle down took a while, but once I had their attention, they were fast learners. Overall, they were calm and collected as they tried to clear their thoughts, with the occasional thought of impatience or confusion. There was one outlier though. A steady hum of anxiety resonated from him.

"Zigbec." I spoke, gently, as to not alarm him. "Calm yourself, young one."

The Twi'lek boy opened his eyes, suddenly aware that I could sense his fear. I did not move, other than to face his direction. After pointing him out, I could sense that fear grow slightly, along with his doubt. He felt as though he had done something wrong.

"It is natural for you to feel emotion," I said, my voice still calm. "like any other, it will come and go. As Jedi, we must not let them consume us. However, you don't need to feel afraid, you are safe now. We will always protect you."

My words seemed to resonate with the class, but did only a little to calm the Twi'lek boy. Amplifying my connection to the Force, I tried projecting towards the boy, surrounding his aura with the warmth of the Light. Steadily, he was calm again, and I could not sense his fear anymore. With a bit more effort, I shrouded the younglings with the same sensation. I was thankful for the small size of the class, since projecting my Force signature like that was still a skill I had to work on.

Suddenly, I felt a movement in the Force, from just outside the door. Rising to my feet, I watched as Master Yoda slowly walked inside.

"Master." I greeted, with a bow of my head. "I was just about to finish up the lesson for today."

He glanced over the small crowd of children, who were now looking at him with awe and excitement, before calming themselves again. Yoda looked at me, smiling.

"Impressive, it is, to see younglings so focused." He turned to me. "However, to the Council, you have been summoned."

***

Once again, I found myself alone in the room, facing the Council. While the anxiety inside of me was strong, I restrained it and built upon my mental barriers. I could _not_ let the Jedi Council have any doubts about my future as a Jedi. Standing tall, I awaited their response.

"Padawan (Y/N), it has been months since the disappearance of you Master, Sinna Ballari." Mace Windu was the first to speak. "And in that time, you have shown that despite this incident, you are willing to throw yourself into your training, even with the absence of your Master's guidance. The Council has noticed this, and are ready to recognize your loyalty to the Order."

"Thank you, Masters." I gave a small nod, my tension easing slightly.

"Before your mission, your Master suggested that you were close to being ready to face the Jedi Knight trials," Mace paused. "However, we do not agree, given the the situation."

I felt a pang of shame, but quickly hid it away. "I understand."

"Good." Master Windu nodded, giving a subtle hint of approval. " Given the time you have spent without the guidance of a Master, we believe that now is the time to place you under a new one. Do you accept?"

I couldn't help but feel as though I was betraying Master Ballari in some way. She was the closest person I had to a mother figure, and by accepting a new Master I felt as though I was replacing her. My apprehension was natural, but I couldn't let it control me. Not now. She would have wanted me to continue my training, and if that meant that it was under someone else's guidance, then so be it.

Strengthened by my resolve, I nodded. " Yes, Master Windu."

After a moment, I heard the doors of the Council room open, and a new presence entered the room. Before I turned to face them, I felt for their Force Signature, for any sort of sign about who they were, or what kind of person they were. They're presence was warm and gentle, matching the energy of the Temple. It took a second for me to realize I had felt this presence before.

Turning to face the one who would become my new Master, I was surprised to see the man I had met in the Jedi Archives, standing before me. Perhaps it was his obvious young age, or the fact that we had already had an interaction, but I couldn't help but feel... confused, and maybe even... hesitant. Cautious.

But as though I could hear her voice through my ears, I remembered Master Ballari's words.

_"You must learn to trust the Jedi Council. Though you may not understand all their decisions, know that they happen for a reason."_

I pushed away my doubts about the man's ability to train me, despite his young age, and quickly felt excited to meet my new mentor.

Apparently I was not alone, since the man stepped forwards without a moment of hesitation.

"Allow me to introduce myself," He said, with his hand clasped together in front of him, giving me a nod of acknowledgement. "My name is Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan Kenobi."

I was even more surprised by the fact that I had heard of him before, despite never knowing his face. Pushing my shock down, I bowed and smiled.

"My name is (Y/N), I look forward to learning from you.... Master Kenobi."


	3. The Clone War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After months of solitude at the Jedi Temple, you finally see what effect the start of the Clone Wars has had on the rest of the galaxy.

I had been in battle before. I was trained for it, but nothing could prepare me for this.

***

Even though I had been placed under a new Master, it was not long before we were given a mission by the Jedi Council. As more and more planets joined the Separatists in the war against the Republic, the Jedi Order had been overwhelmed with the need for more Jedi to help fight their battles.

I was not ignorant to the effect that the Clone Wars had, even if I had spent my last few months in the safety of Coruscant. There was a new, lingering unrest in the Temple. Jedi Masters and Knights were sent out as Generals, desperately trying to bring back the peace that the Republic had maintained for so long. Younglings would whisper with both fear and awe about the tales they overheard, most likely from their Padawan peers, who accompanied their mentors on these missions.

But beyond the walls of the Temple, I could sense that there was more. The streets of Coruscant are home to many minds, each having differing views and emotions about the war, but they all had one thing in common: the fear. For many of us, we had never seen a conflict of this magnitude, or with this much impact. The people were afraid. Afraid of the outcome. Afraid of the future.

Which is why it was so important for the Jedi to restore the order.

At least, that's what I told myself.

When Master Yoda contacted my new Jedi Master, Obi-Wan Kenobi, I wasn't sure what kind of mission I was expecting, but it wasn't this. Thanks to the Senator of the planet Naboo, the Republic gained information regarding a growing resistance from Geonosis, where a number of Separatist droid factories were being built. After the first battle on Geonosis, the one that started the Clone Wars in the first place, The Republic was using any means they had to keep the Geonosians in line. If the factories were left alone, the Separatists would gain a huge advantage over us. Our mission was to join two other Jedi Generals in an attempt to destroy these factories.

Before, I might have been excited. So much so that I may have leapt at such a chance to prove myself to the Council, but now? Now I was hesitant, cautious. While I was happy for such an exciting mission, it felt different now that my wish was coming true. It was all a bit _too_ real now.

"I trust that you've experienced battles before?" My new Master asked, as we prepared to board a Republic cruiser. "I must warn you, its not all like the stories they tell after."

I was surprised to learn that Obi-Wan Kenobi was not only a Jedi Master, after I had mistakenly assumed that he had just became a Jedi Knight, but was also one of the Councils' most trusted Generals. I heard rumors that they offered him a place on the Council, but that he hadn't made a decision whether or not to yet. It was a bit intimidating, the difference between Master Ballari and Master Kenobi. Sinna had always prefered to stay away from battles when she could, unless the Council ordered her to. I was starting to understand why.

"Yes, Master, but nothing like this." I admitted, honestly. " I've been in battles when certain negotiations have gone wrong, or when I've had to fight off bounty hunters, but I've never been in a war before."

"Neither had I until a short while ago."

We made our way through the docking bay, carrying what possessions we had with us, which admittedly wasn't much. Aside from my normal Jedi robes, there was an additional weight from armor I was given, in preparation for the violence I'd have to face. As we approached the cruiser, I felt my body move on its own, with my pace becoming a bit slower than before. Right before I went to step onto the ship, it felt as though my legs were frozen in place.

_Cold._

Obi-Wan seemed to notice my hesitance, and raised a brow at me, questioning. "Is something wrong?"

It was a small amount of fear, creeping through again. I shook my head and put on a calm face, taking a step. "It's nothing, I just....I just haven't been away from Coruscant for a while."

When we left the warmth of Coruscant, I couldn't help but shiver at the cool air of space that crept in, even at the center of the ship. Following Obi-Wan to the bridge of the cruiser, where many soldiers were leaving and entering, each with a different job to do. I instinctively blocked out as much of the crew's projecting emotions as I could. 

After entering hyperspace, we waited until we heard back from one of the other Jedi Generals that would be joining us, Master Ki-Adi-Mundi. When he arrived, the man greeted the two of us, turning to me with a look of familiarity and concern.

"Padawan (Y/N), I'm glad to see you back outside of the Temple again," He gave a brief smile. "Even though I wish it would be under better circumstances."

I gave the Council member a respectful nod. "Thank you, Master. It's an honor that the Council trusts me to learn alongside you."

A wave of approval washed over him, as he turned to Obi-Wan. "Any word from Skywalker?"

At the mention of his former Padawan, Obi-Wan gave out a slight sigh in annoyance. "Not yet, I haven't heard back from him or Ahsoka. Honestly, I don't know _what_ could be taking them so long."

Despite his annoyance, he spoke so casually about Anakin Skywalker that it was clear that the two were close.

When we finally arrived just outside the Geonosis atmosphere, our cruiser remained still and stagnant alongside other identical ships. Since Anakin and Ahsoka had not arrived yet, all we could do was wait before we could plan our mission. Using that time, I stood at the bridge, with my eyes closed. Steadily, I cleared my mind, even with the busy noise that surrounded me. Like any other time that I would focus on the Force, I searched for the familiar warmth of the Light Side, finding my center. It was easier than I expected, almost too easy, but I disregarded it.

It was only until I noticed that I was focusing on a nearby presence that I finally discovered I was using Obi-Wan's Force signature to center myself, using that warmth to amplify my own. Once I finally found a calm place in my mind, I instantly went to work on my mental barriers. Whatever amount of violence that would take place could not be allowed to overwhelm me. Especially now, when I could prove the the Jedi Masters that I was still worthy of becoming one of them.

"Awfully cautious, aren't you?"

I opened my eyes to turn and face Obi-Wan. "My former Master always told me that I should always be cautious when it comes to battle." He seemed to find humor in my answer, which I found confusing. "Is..is that wrong, Master Kenobi?"

He gave me a smile. "No, I...I suppose I'm just not used to having a Padawan so prepared."

I smiled in reply, happy that I was doing well so far. But this was the easy part. Master Mundi joined the two of us, as we looked down on the planet. The two men shared a look.

"I cannot believe we're back here again."

Obi-Wan nodded, placing a hand on his chin. "It is unfortunate."

"The resistance from the native Geonosians is stronger than we anticipated."

"The same can be said about their loyalty to Count Dooku."

"A fact that is often overlooked."

Just at that moment, the main door to the bridge opened, revealing two new presences. A man and a younger girl, both Jedi. My Master turned around and gave another exaggerated sigh.

"You're late!" He said.

The man, Anakin I presumed, shrugged off his remark with a playful grin. "Sorry, Master, Ahsoka and I were busy routing the Seppies near Dorin."

The girl, Ahsoka, beamed with excitement and pride. "My squadron alone had 55 kills."

"Yeah, but mine had 76."

"Showoff."

We circled around, in order to make room for the two additions to the group. I was surprised by Anakin and Ahsoka's playful nature, given the circumstances. The weight in my chest felt a little lighter. Obi-Wan, on the other hand, seemed a bit put off by their banter.

"Well, I'm glad you two are enjoying yourselves." Kenobi said, before looking at me. I couldn't help but feel anxious about it. "I believe , for now, I should introduce my new Padawan."

I stepped forwards, giving a short nod to both Anakin and Ahsoka. "I'm (Y/N) (L/N)."

"Anakin Skywalker. Glad to finally meet you," Anakin greeted me, before looking at Obi-Wan with amusement. "though, I was surprised to hear you requested a new Padawan so soon. Dying to get rid of me, are you?"

_Requested?_

Ahsoka rolled her eyes, and shook my hand. "I'm Ahsoka, I'm looking forward to working with you."

"Likewise." I smiled, before turning to Obi-Wan again. "I believe we should contact the Outer Rim Command now that we're all here."

"Agreed, Ahsoka, contact them immediately. We're ready for our briefing."

"They're already waiting for us."

***

Our briefing was short and simple. The plan was to have three waves heading to a designated landing zone, from there we could organize a strike against the Geonosian forces. While I memorized the important information from the meeting, most of the complex work would be left to Anakin, Ahsoka, and Master Mundi, who would be attacking defensive lines from the north and south of the landing zone. Master Kenobi and I would attack from the middle. It would be difficult, but not impossible.

Once briefed, we prepared to begin deploying ships. I placed the armor I packed over my Jedi robes, and went to meet Master Kenobi in the cruiser's docking bay. When I finally caught up to him, he was talking to a Clone Commander. He ran a hand through his hair, and his jaw seemed to be clenched. There was an intense focus in his blue eyes. 

Walking up beside him, the three of us made our way to the battleship we would be taking down to the surface.

"No, sir, I wasn't involved in the first assault on Geonosis." Commander Cody replied, most likely to a question Obi-Wan had asked.

I couldn't help myself but to ask: "You were at the First Battle of Geonosis, Master?"

Master Kenobi looked at me, nodding. "Yes, but you didn't miss much. Last time, I was chained to a pole and attacked by several humongous monsters."

Somehow the thought of the calm man trying to fight a monster while tied up was funny to me, despite how horrifying I know the experience would've been. I chuckled a bit at the image, before giving a quick smile. "That sounds.. entertaining?"

"It was," He said, with a small chuckle, as we boarded the ship. "for the Geonosians."

Placing a hand on a bar for stability, I fought back the feeling of fear and anticipation. Reaching out into the Force, I centered myself, once again reaching out to Obi-Wan's warm Light. After I calmed myself, I looked to Kenobi with a warm smile.

"I understand that revenge is not the Jedi Way.... but perhaps, then, just this once, we can even the score."


	4. Geonosis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Second Battle of Geonosis begins.
> 
> Immediately thrown into the flames of war, you struggle to control your fear and doubt, both of which lead to severe consequences.

We were packed together as tightly as possible inside the interior of the Republic gunship. The dark surrounding smelled of metal, ammo, and sweat. But it wasn't the sight or smell that disturbed me, it was the atmosphere. Before, on the bridge, the air was tense and serious, but now that felt like nothing. The clone soldiers, many of whom were likely about to face their first (and possibly last) actual battle, radiated a strange mixture of anticipation, anxiety, and...duty. It wasn't long that I felt my own aura mirror theirs.

Due to my own personal curiosity, I turned my attention to Obi-Wan, trying to read him. On the outside, he had is eyes closed in concentration. There was a subtle crease between his eyebrows, which gave away the stress he must be feeling. His lips were strained, as he worked to hold back his emotions. Emotions, which were unusually duller than most, even among Jedi. They felt...guarded? Like he was purposefully trying to make them untraceable, even to a Jedi like me, who had a special sensitivity to them.

 _Is he trying to block me out from sensing them?_

Commander Cody, the clone who was talking to Master Kenobi before, placed a hand on his helmet, signaling that he was listening to new orders. Then, the man turned to both me and Obi-Wan. "General, Commander, we're ready to launch. We're approaching the landing zone."

 _Commander._ It felt strange to be called that, even though I was still just a Padawan.

"Right, give the order to start the attack." Kenobi said, opening his eyes once again.

As Cody relayed the message to the rest of the squadrons, the gunships began to rise and take off. One by one, the gunships flew out of the hangar, flying not far above the dry planet's surface. Feeling the life Force of the other ships, I could sense the how the formation was spread out, never wavering.

There was an occasional bump or swerve in flight, causing me to constantly focus on maintaining my balance. I held on tightly to the bar above my head, not trying to hit Obi-Wan or the clones with my shoulder. It was silly to worry about such a small thing in the middle of a battle, but it was all I could do to distract myself from the growing feeling of dread. Breathing in, I calmed myself once more. I may not be able to make the fear go away completely, but I can at least keep it from projecting.

_I can. I know I can. I have to._

Then the shooting began.

The Geonosian defenses started firing their cannons as our gunships descended upon them. The ship we were in shook and rocked about, throwing all of us around. You could hear the dull thump of each impact or explosion from outside. Each explosion was closer than the next. The clones' armor and helmets clanged against one another, adding a metal screech. Once our gunmen began to fire back, there was a loud blaster noise. I almost felt as though I'd be more calm if I could actually _see_ what was going on.

That thought was quickly changed, when I felt a strange sensation. Through the force, I noticed that one gunship to our right was steadily descending lower than the rest. With a drop in my stomach, I realized that they were crashing, right into enemy territory. Even if they survived the fall, it would be nearly impossible for the soldiers to regroup with the rest of us. Instinctively, my eyes met Obi-Wan's.

I parted my lips, my throat tightening. "Master.."

He gave me a grim look, before placing his free hand on my shoulder. "I know."

I know that this would happen, that with any battle, there were expected casualties. But still, they were living people, who were with us just a moment ago. But it was their duty, and I knew that the clones had made their peace with it. Now I had to make peace with mine. Once more, I regained focus, and moved forwards.

As we engaged the enemy, the voices of the fellow Commanders rung out from my commlink, as they each worked to inform each other on the movements of the Geonosian forces. It wasn't long before the Geonosians sent out their own gunships, trying to slow us down and pick each ship off, one by one. 

"We're down! We're down! Location five-"

The signal from one of the Commanders cut out, leaving a brief buzz over the commlink. That was Skywalker's team. They went down before their intended target.

 _They're prepared for this, they'll be okay_. I told myself this, over and over, as a desperate attempt to keep myself contained. _It's going to be fine._

"Cody, come in! Cody!" A voice of a clone sounded on the Commlink again. "Get the the tanks down!"

Cody nodded, and looked forwards. "Copy that. Pilot, begin landing sequence."

"Copy that, Commander. Have fun down there!"

 _Have fun? How could anyone have fun right now?_ I thought to myself, my heart beating out of my chest. _Calm down...Calm down..._

There was another explosion, just barely missing us, shaking the gunship violently. To my surprise, the Jedi Master besides me flinched, his eyes shutting and his arms clenched. I felt just a spark, a sharp sting, of a familiar feeling come from him.

He looked at me, concerned. "I sense your fear, Padawan."

"I can feel yours too, Master." I didn't mean for it to come out, but it did. _Should I have said that? Would he be angry-_

Before I could even think about that, new voices overloaded the communications system. The tank troops had created a circle in the landing zone, establishing a wall of defense, but there seemed to be trouble.

"General Kenobi, _don't_ land-"

"Man down, I repeat: Man _down_!"

"-The zone is hot!."

Obi-Wan pull on the bar that was supporting him, turning away from me. His voice seemed strained, as he spoke into the Commlink. "But there's nowhere else to go!"

With a loud bang, I felt the ship next to us explode with the impact, send it and it's passengers down to the surface. There were very few of us now, and I tried to sense what was happening through the Force. Reaching out, trying to feel the presence of our allies, I sensed the pilots of a few Geonosian ships. And they were headed straight for us.

Opening my eyes, I went to warn the pilots, but it was too late. With a bang, the wing of our gunship came off, sending us down with it. Master Kenobi told the others that we were hit, and that we would be crashing down, just outside the landing zone. I clenched the bar above me, now with two arms, as we succumbed to the planet's gravity. Blinking rapidly, my hearing was flooded by the electronic beeping of the ship's emergency systems. I was aware that there was nothing I could do, but I still felt as though I should do something. _Anything_.

But I couldn't.

My Master's voice rang out loudly. "Brace yourselves!"

I couldn't hold it in anymore. I was scared. Letting myself just feel my fear, it ran through me. It was _cold._ It took the breath from my lungs, and shook through me. Freezing me, as I stared forwards, as the dry earth of Geonosis approached rapidly. _Sinna-_

I gave out a small shout, along with a few others, right before we hit the ground. And then-

**_BANG_ **

The ship hit the ground, and I was swept off my feet. In that short time, I searched for anything, both in the physical realm and the Force. Something to hold onto, something to steady myself. Anything. Anything-

"(Y/N)!"

In quick moment, I felt an arm around my waist, pulling me back. For a split moment, I felt grounded once more..

Right before everything went black.

***

With a cough, I blinked my eyes. It was dark, but a soft orange light peeked through, blurry and faded.

_Where am I?_

I didn't know how long I was out, but it couldn't have been long. The sounds of blasters and tanks still rang out all around us. The battle was still going on. But our ship had crashed and I didn't know-

 _Master._ With a jolt, I suddenly sat up from what remained of the gunship's metal walls. Since my vision seemed to be slow in returning to normal, I used my senses. I had expected more than what I found... aside from myself, there were only two other still alive. With a sigh of relief, I felt the warm aura of Obi-Wan, right next to me in the darkness. As for the clones...

I focused my eyes, adjusting slowly to the dark. I saw them. All around me, with their armor still remaining, were the bodies of the soldiers who were just alive a moment ago. I gasped, looking around. There wasn't much, but there was blood, only noticeable due to the smell of iron and the red on the walls, which had not been there before.

Turning away, I looked at Master Kenobi, who had also passed out in the crash. There was a deep gash on his head, causing blood to smear onto his face and in his hair, darkening it. Other than that, I didn't know what other injuries the man may have had, but his Force was weaker.

Placing a hand onto his shoulder, I gently shook him. "Master! Obi-Wan!"

_You have to be okay, I can't go through it again._

While I hardly knew the man, I wasn't eager to lose another Master. While we just met, there was more I needed to learn from him. That I _wanted_ to learn from _him_.

Stirring awake, the Jedi Master woke up and sat up to face me, much too slowly. He looked at me and sighed, a subtle sense of relief coming over him. I informed him about the other clones, and helped to get Commander Cody to regain consciousness. I asked what our next move was, and was told that someone should be sent to help us, if they could. All we could do was wait, and hope that it was not the Geonosians who found us first.

I seemed to be the one with the least amount of injury, with only a throbbing pain in my side, a fact that I was thankful for. But I watched with concern as Obi-Wan sat up, his hand placed over his ribs, as he winced with pain. Commander Cody's leg was hurt, but he assured us that he could still fight.

When the door of the ship began to screech open, I was the first to draw my weapon. I pulled my lightsaber to my hand, igniting it and standing quickly. When the door opened, there were two clones standing before us. I sighed, and relaxed for a moment, sheathing my saber.

Obi-Wan sighed, placing a hand to cover his eyes. "Waxer, Boil, am I glad to see you. Cody, (Y/N), and I are the only ones still alive."

"Good to see you sir," They nodded, and helped the two injured men to their feet. "We've established the square just beyond this position. The bugs are on the move and trying to surround us as we speak, sir."

I realized that since the two men would need help walking, I'd have to be the one to defend us as we regrouped at the landing zone. Taking my saber into my hand again, I stepped out of the ship, and looked out to our destination. "I can cover us."

I looked back at my four companions, and noticed Obi-Wan's sense of slight doubt. "Are you sure?"

It was understandable, since he had undoubtably felt my intense fear from before. But that feeling wasn't with me now, as I looked on with only concern for Master Kenobi and Cody. The green light of my lightsaber ignited again. "I can do it Master, just lead the way."

"Very well, Commander." Waxer replied.

As we hurried back into the fray, there was a sense of peace that came over me. Yes, the fear was still there, flickering into my mind, it was easier to shut it out now, It wasn't important how I felt right now, I had to defend the others. The Geonosian blasters sent green blasts towards us, which I blocked and redirected with my lightsaber, constantly switching between running with the group and stopping to ward off our attackers. One or two hit the bug-aliens, killing them. With a brief moment of pause, I called out to Waxer and Boil, and ran to catch up with them.

"How far are we?"

"Just one click out, Commander."

I sensed a gathering crowd forming behind us. "How quickly could we get cover fire?"

"Already sent the word."

True to their word, the clones at the landing point started to focus their fire on the wave of Geonosians behind our small group, making it much easier for me to defend Obi-Wan and Cody. It was exhilarating, to feel completely at peace for the first time in months. I thanked the Force for all the long, intense defensive training Master Ballari had made me go through. And while that left me with less skill in offensive fighting, it meant that I could hold my own in dire situations, such as this one.

Once the Republic tanks had picked off most of the wave, the Geonosians fell back and went to spread out, just in time for our group to reach the landing zone. Placing Obi-Wan and Commander Cody down behind a makeshift barrier, Waxer and Boil immediately went to retrieve bacta shots, to speed up the healing process.

Obi-Wan turned to the leading officer. "What's the situation here?"

The clone grunted. "We've got no air cover, two Generals beyond our position, and a mess of bugs surrounding us."

Cody turned to Master Kenobi. "The enemy was more than prepared for our attack, sir. They knew our every move."

Obi-Wan's eyebrows furrowed in frustration, before relaxing again. "Well, I'm sure General Skywalker and General Mundi will make it to our position. We just have to make sure _we're_ still here when they arrive."

The officer gave nod, and went back to continue the defense. I knelt down by my Master, before noticing that Boil was coming to give me a bacta shot as well.

Placing a hand up, I stopped him. "No, save it for the injured. I only have minor bruising."

"But Commander, are you sure-"

"I'm sure," I nodded. " I can manage fine on my own now that we're here. I'll help to keep the Geonosians back," Then, I thought that maybe I was overstepping or making a rash decision. I looked back at Obi-Wan, questioning for a moment. "Unless, you think differently, Master Kenobi."

His gaze was still, giving away no discernible emotion, and I could've sworn I felt his Force signature reaching out into mine. I gave him a look, after he didn't answer immediately. "Master? What's wrong?"

"I must admit, I did have my doubts... I felt much fear from you before, I thought for a moment that this may be too much for you." He was honest with his thoughts, something I appreciated greatly. "But it seems as though I was mistaken. However, I must say that while your compassion for others is admirable, you must also take care of yourself too, you're a Commander now. You need to be at your best to help lead them."

"I promise you, I'm fine for now, Master." I thanked him, before letting a small excited grin fall over my face. "So... does that mean that you agree?"

He sighed. "Yes, it would be good for us to use whatever means we can to defend ourselves.." He gave me one last look. "but be careful, Padawan."

"I always am, Master."

Rushing off to the area with the most enemies, I joined the clone troops in defending the area, not allowing my bruised side to slow me down. I deflected the blasts from enemy fighters using my saber, a bright green flash upon each impact. Every once in a while, I had to duck and cover behind the barricades that had been set up, to avoid sudden attacks from speeders. There was only so much that I could do to keep the enemy from breaking our line of defense. I watched as more clone troopers were either shot or killed, but I could not allow myself to grieve for them now, no matter how much each fallen life pained me.

"Commander, there's heavy fire on the Eastern perimeter, they need all the support we can give them!" Commander Cody informed me, over the Commslink.

"Got it." I paused. "How's Master Kenobi?"

 _Who knows how bad his injuries truly are. If we don't get help soon.._ I shook my head, cursing myself for having such doubt right now.

"He's badly injured, but managing, we just need to hold out for reinforcements."

"Right," I began sprinting over towards the East, watching as an explosion hit the other side of the tanks. "I'll do what I can."

When I arrived, I skipped the pleasantries of introduction and went straight into action.The explosion left a small hole in the barricade, a problem that had to be solved immediately. Looking around, I saw the broken wing of a gunship. All I needed to do was place the wing along the outside of the barricade, to cover the hole. The only issue was that it was on the other side of the wall, and I wouldn't be able to lift something so heavy while using my lightsaber.

I heard the clones shouting over one another. "We need to fix that hole _now_!"

 _What if I can't do it?_ The thought stopped me in my tracks. Frozen. _What If-_

"They're closing in!" Another clone yelled.

I stepped forwards, near a group of clones, as they shot at the enemy. Noticing my arrival, they turned to me. I looked back at the broken gunship wing. My eyes raised up, to see the on coming wave of Geonosian fighters. I had to do it now, I couldn't afford another moment of hesitation.

"Cover me for as long as you can, I'm going to fix the barricade!" I shouted, hoping my voice was heard over all the chaos.

Hopping over the barricade, I felt completely out in the open, but when forwards anyways. My heart was racing, knowing that at any moment, if a stray blast were to hit me.... I'd most likely die. I focused, sensing through the Force, waiting and anticipating. The Geonosians notice me, and began to fire on me, forcing me to use my lightsaber to deflect their shots. At the rate that they were approaching, I wasn't sure if I'd be able to make it.

"You heard the Commander!" A clone yelled, as a group of five soldiers gather by my side. 

With the others to gain the Geonosians' attention, I ran over to the Gunship Wing, lifting it up with the Force. I had lifted larger objects, but never quite as heavy as this. Slowly, I was able to get it standing upright, enough to provide the five clones and I partial cover, while we were outside the barricade. Now all I need to do was lift it back.

I heard Obi-Wan's voice over the Comms. "(Y/N), what are you doing?!"

Of course he'd heard about my risky move. "I'm sorry, Obi-Wan, but I'm the only one who could fix the barricade. I have to do this!"

"I told you to be careful-"

"I can't argue right now!" I groaned, straining from my use of the Force. "If I don't do this, we'll be overrun before the others arrive-"

There was a blast, hitting the other side of the wing, sending a shock that knocked me off balance. The broken wing fell to the ground, but remained standing. I couldn't stay here for long. Ordering the five clones to return to the barricade, I slowly dragged the Wing back, each step becoming heavier than the last. Finally, I had managed to back up to the barricade, before coming back over to the other side, until I dragged the wing up against the barricade, covering the hole, while allowing room for the clones to fire back. There were cheers of joy from the clones, signaling that I had succeeded. Breathing heavily, I sighed, before stepping back.

I felt drained, the exhaustion from today finally setting in. My legs were shaking, and my mind became muddied. A clone came over, noticing my state. Placing a hand to his Commlink, saying something into the channel. He turned to face me again.

"Commander...Commander?"

I hardly noticed that he had been speaking to me. My legs were shaking, and the pain in my side ached. I felt as though I was about to collapse.

"Do you think you can handle it from here?" I asked.

The clone nodded. "They starting to scatter again, we can take it from here."

Giving a weak nod, I rushed over back to Obi-Wan and Commander Cody. As soon as I arrived, I asked about possible reinforcements. Both Master Skywalker and Master Mundi had not been heard from yet. Meaning that we were still on our own.

"What of the barricade?" Obi-Wan asked, looking at me with worry.

"I... I did it, I fixed the gap, but Master, I'm not sure that we can keep going like this."

I took time to rest, after pushing myself so much, staying by Obi-Wan's side. I knew that I need to recover, but the screams of clones and bangs of blasts always made me feel guilt. I needed to be helping them, to do something. With another wave of blasts, I fought back my fear, never knowing if that would be the last step they need to break through our perimeter. I didn't know how long it had been since we first got to the landing zone. I didn't know how long it would be until the other Jedi would arrive. _If they would arrive._

 _What if we were on our own? What if we failed?_ The doubt set in, despite all my mental preparation. 

And then I heard it.

"Retreat! Go! Go!"

All the remaining clones in the landing zone gathered into the center, where Obi-Wan and I had been recovering, meaning that the enemy's forces had begun to break through. We were surrounded, with Geonosians and Separatist droids closing in. Another blast, another scream. Another death. 

I rose to my feet, my legs still shaky, and lit my lightsaber. Obi-Wan did the same, his eyes dark and guarded. He looked tired, his face still bleeding. _Are we going to die here?_

_Cold._

No.

"Fire through! Make every shot count!" Commander Cody shouted. "Give it all you've got!"

I backed up, next to my Master, knowing that this could be our last moments. I closed my eyes, reaching out to him again, sensing the warmth of his Light. He reached out in return.

_I wanted to learn more from you._

"Reinforcements!"

I opened my eyes, hearing those words.

"The reinforcements have arrived!"

Looking up, Republic airships rained down over us, attacking and sending the enemy forces back into a retreat. I watched as more and more clone soldiers arrived, hurrying to help aid us. They made it. _They made it!_ Pure joy washed over me, chasing away the fear of death that had just held me fixed.

In one quick moment, we were saved. Masters Skywalker and Mundi, along with Ahsoka, came over, rushing to our sides. Obi-Wan collapsed, both in exhaustion and relief.

"Master Obi-Wan!" I knelt down, checking to see if he was okay.

Anakin came over, looking down at Kenobi. "Well, what happened to you?"

Obi-Wan huffed and glowered at his former Padawan. "Funny, I might ask you the same thing."

Lifting Obi-Wan to his feet, we walked back to a gunship, to return to the Republic cruiser. We were both exhausted, and needed to heal, at least until we could make our next move.

"What about the droid factory defenses? Don't we need to get through them first?" I asked, leaning against the man.

"Master Mundi, Anakin, and Ahsoka can handle it from here. You've done enough for now, (Y/N), you've earned a break."

"I sorry I couldn't do more." I apologized, a flicker of doubt forming with the thought of not completing our objective.

He paused, stopping for a moment. He looked directly at me, even despite our close proximity. I struggled to meet his gaze, but did so anyways. From here, I could see every impact the battle had on him. From the way the gash on his face was still bright and red, to the dust that covered his usually well-kept hair, to how much of his weight I had to help support just so he could walk. 

"What?" I asked, blinking.

He looked concerned again, a reoccurring event, apparently. "Why are you apologizing? You've done far better than anyone could've ever expected, why are you doubting yourself? It was because of your efforts that we lasted long enough for the reinforcements to arrive."

I couldn't help but flush at the sudden praise. I wasn't sure why I apologized, but slowly felt better, knowing that despite making certain decisions without his approval, Obi-Wan was impressed by my actions. Part of me told myself that it was only because he didn't know how afraid I truly was. But another part told me that maybe he did.

I had been staring back at my Master for a moment too long, before turning away again, still blushing from the praise.

"Thank you, Master Obi-Wan."


	5. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the Battle, you are given time for some much needed rest. Only, you find that your sleep is anything but peaceful.

When I finally reached my sleeping quarters on board the Republic cruiser, I could not walk anymore.

The dull ache took hold, cramping up my muscles any time they moved. The slight pain in my side was now a pounding stab, each beat of my heart bringing a new pain. And the beats never slowed, never calmed. My heart raced, even now, when I was within the safety of the cruiser. I closed my eyes, laying onto my back. The rush of blood in my ears and a white glow on the back of my eyelids were my only companions, as I tried to drift into sleep. Soon that steady thump in my ears became a ringing. Then that ringing became a _bang_. That _bang_ became a **scream**. I shook my head slightly, trying to rid myself of the thoughts. All I needed to do was ignore it. 

_Its Cold._

I shivered, a chill rushing through me. Grabbing my Jedi cloak from my small assortment of personal items, I wrapped myself up, hugging the corners of my arms tightly. The sounds continued, not knowing if they were truly in my head or if my ears were simply distorting the noise of the cruiser. The logical side of me said that it was just the fear getting to me, that there was no way the fighting had reached the cruiser, especially not after our victory.

_But was it a victory?_

So many lives were lost today, and our mission almost failed. Had it not been for the sudden reinforcements, we would have had to make our last stand to defend the landing zone. The way that Master Kenobi looked at the Geonosians, when he stood to ignite his lightsaber, despite his injuries.... the glare in his eyes that didn't express anger, but rather, a fierce resolve. The acceptance.The Peace. He had made his peace with the fact that he would die, that it was his duty. It wasn't just him either.... Commander Cody? Waxer? Boil? All of the clones were willing to die for their duty.

_All but me._

Shame ripped through me, catching a breath in my throat. I wrapped the cloak around me further.

I remembered the final wave of fear that had taken hold of me. After spending the whole battle under control, it was then that I lost whatever peace I possessed. It was my _duty_ to not let that fear consume me. It was my _duty_ to accept death. To be at peace with it. That's what my role as a Jedi meant now, no matter how I felt about it. It didn't matter that we were meant to be peacekeepers, compassionate warriors who fought _only_ to restore peace. It didn't matter that I thought Jedi Masters weren't supposed to be Generals. It didn't matter that I thought I shouldn't be called **_Commander_** , when I was still just a Padawan learner. An _apprentice_ , leading soldiers to their deaths.

 _"Trust in the Council"_ Sinna's words echoed faintly in my ears. " _Trust in the Council"_

**_Why?_ **

I was angry, my breathing heavy now. I flipped and turned, trying desperately to find a calm, to lull myself to sleep. It didn't matter what I thought, the Council leads the Order. The only thing I'm supposed to be thinking is: "Trust the Council". Did it matter that they had gotten us into this war? Did it matter that we now actively sought to hurt, all in the name of peace? Did it matter that we didn't even **hesitate** to join the fight? Did it matter that others like me, Padawan learners...others like Ahsoka, barely older than a _Youngling_... had to experience what I did. I was shaking now, a cold rush in my veins. My breathing was audible now, echoing around the empty room. I knew I was letting my emotions get the better of me, but all they seemed to do was **build** , and **_build_**! With no release. Taking a shaky breath, I sat up, crossing my legs into a meditative position. My gasps for air were met with a cold intake of breath, as I shivered with each inhale.

This is what the Council warned about. My fears were causing me to doubt. To doubt myself, to doubt the Council, to doubt the Order. Those doubts were leading me to anger, making me lose my way.

_But there's a truth to how I feel._

Clearing my mind, I slowly allowed each breath to calm and warm me. Sitting upright, I wrapped the cloak around me again, fixing it. I soon found myself drifting, not quite at peace, but getting there. I reached out through the Force. Immediately, I could sense the steadily growing presence of Obi-Wan, as he recovered in the bacta tanks. Not far from him, I sensed the familiar Master Mundi. The Warmth of Master Kenobi's Light was tempting.... the thought of centering myself, using it. But, I didn't.

_I'm supposed to become a Jedi Knight, yet I've been leaning on him for support this whole time. It's pathetic._

I hesitated, a flicker of shame entering my aura. Had I always done this? Surely not...before the accident, I used to pride myself on my self-reliance as a Padawan..... so why was the pull of his Light so tempting? Why am I relying on him, rather than my own skills? Confusion covered me, like the cloak I now clung to my chest. Was I more dependent now? I didn't feel that way before, and it wasn't like that on the surface Geonosis, so why now? Part of me wanted to say it was possibly a personal attachment, but that couldn't be true. I hardly knew him.

_"I wanted to learn more from you."_

There was no other explanation for why I had thought that, rather than do my duty as a Jedi and accept our possible deaths, other than that my fear had taken hold of me. Making me turn to a man I barely knew- one of the most well-known and respected Jedi _Masters_ , on top of that- and childishly wish for some kind of comfort.

_So stupid..._

Shaking my head again, I breathed in deeply.

_It's this kind of thinking that will only cause my fear to grow._

Instead of reaching out in the Force, I looked within myself. The glow around me was dim, with my swirling emotions surrounding me. Is this what the Masters saw when they looked at me? Or was this just how I was when I was alone? I had taken the time to build on my mental barriers while others were around, but now the walls were gone. There was no one to hide the fears from.

Finding the Light from my Force Signature, I let the warm sensation run through me. As I did, I noticed my mood change drastically. I began to focus on the positive aspects from the mission: letting those thoughts fill me, and fuel my meditation. The Council had trusted me to join Master Kenobi on such an important mission, I had impressed both Jedi Masters with my preparations, I had held my fears back and never let them interfere with me judgement, until the very end. Obi-Wan had even attributed our survival to my actions...

My cheeks warmed, remembering his praise. I wasn't sure why it had effected me so much. It wasn't as though that was the first time I had ever been complimented, but it was the first time I've ever fixated on one comment so much. Then again, such high praise was rare among the Jedi, to make sure we never grew arrogant. And in my experience, my former Master was less likely than others to give out praise. That must be why I'm so flustered. It _must_ be.

Returning to my thoughts, I felt the warmth grow in me, soothing me. I soon found that I was using my own Light to center myself, grounding me as I used the Force to both calm and build on my feelings. I found Peace again, if only for now. I decided to wait before leaving my meditative state, and to sit in the sensation. There was no intrusive thought or feeling that popped up, without warning. There was no underlying current of worry. There was... nothing.

There was..

***

...a darkness that surrounded me. The sound of an alarm rang out, steadily fading and returning at a constant rate. 

_Where am I?_

I looked around, and felt a strange familiarity, despite my unusually blurred vision. The only source of light was a flash of red, by the doorway, leading out to another room. My instincts told me I was on board a ship, and urged me to go the cockpit. As I stepped towards the door, an echo of a shout passed behind me.

"...(Y/N)!..."

I froze, as the doorway opened, not daring to turn around. Still, I couldn't ignore that I knew the voice of the echo.

"Master Ballari?" I called, surprised by the warped echo that my own voice held. 

The step I took, leading into the main loading compartment of the ship, felt wobbly. Like the floor itself was shifting beneath me, despite the fact that it had not actually moved. The red light, like the alarm, faded in and out, lighting my way in only brief moments. It was as though a path was laid out for me through my vision, with only one direction in focus while everything blurred together. Following it, I noticed that I was approaching the elevator of the ship, leading to the cockpit.

_Its cold._

A shaky breath escaped my lips. The sinking feeling returned, like when you remember to do something important long after its too late. I felt like I had felt this before..... no, like I had always felt like this... or was I wrong? My memory didn't help me, as though I had been cut off from accessing even my own experiences.

_Why am I here? Where's Sinna?_ _Why are we on this ship?_

I couldn't remember what I was doing here. I couldn't even remember if this was real. It felt real.

The entrance to the elevator snapped open, the white light of the inside shining through the dark surroundings. Walking into it, I felt a thought return to me, reminding me of something important.

_The Youngling!-_

I flipped around, turning to go back. When I did, the doors of the elevator closed, even though I had not pressed any button on the console. I went to lift my hand, to open the door again, but found a toy ship in my grasp, when it had not been there before. Inspecting it with a sense of confusion, I saw the broken off wing, and felt a sense of dread.

Then, the elevator lifted, the shifting weight threw me slightly off balance. As I rose up through the ship, everything slowly came back to me.

_We went to Ryloth, to Lessu.... we found the Twi'lek couple...Zigbec.._

There was a chill in the air, and I felt afraid. Why did I feel afraid?

_Master Sinna stopped for something..._

With a whoosh, the elevator door opened to the cockpit, revealing a similar sight. Like the rest of the ship, it was completely dark, save for the steady rhythm of red light that faded and returned. Only this time, it wasn't an alarm light that caused the glow, but a device, right in front of the control panel.

The pyramid-shaped item sat there, but I felt a wave of hesitation at the thought of moving towards it. It's red glow left me unsettled.

"Master?" I called out. "Master Ballari, what's happened?"

There was no response. No other option now, but to approach the strange device. I gulped, nervous. But why was I so nervous? I was afraid. But why was I afraid again? I couldn't remember. It was almost ominous, how the room before me seemed empty, when every feeling in me told me that my Master was meant to be here. Shaking the feeling, I approached the device.

Placing a hand on it, I felt a disturbance.

As though it latched onto me, I felt the Dark Side surrounding the device try to envelop me, drawing out my negative emotions. I was frustrated, confused... I couldn't remember why I was here... why I felt like this. I felt annoyance and anger too. I remembered. I wasn't _supposed_ to be here.

 _I'm almost a Jedi Knight, I shouldn't be sent on small tasks like this... its an insult to my skills_.

I grit my teeth, looking around. Where in the galaxy _was_ Sinna? It was _her_ who called me here! It was _her_ who knew what was going on.

_Maker knows, she never tells me anything!_

I was growing more irritated as time went on. Clutching the device, I felt as though all my intrusive thoughts, which had seemed small and few at the time, came rushing in waves to the front of my mind. I work relentlessly, I never step out of line, and only ever question the Jedi Order to gain a better understanding of their teachings. I was better prepared and much more reliable than many Padawan learners my age. I excelled in using the Force ,outside of battle, and knew most of the Jedi Archives like the back of my hand! The Jedi Order was **lucky** to have me.

While in my negative state, I hardly noticed the rate at which the Dark Force of the device seemed to be growing. Until, eventually, I realized that it wasn't the device causing it. It was a presence, a presence I had felt before....

_Its Cold..._

I gazed out into space, feeling out. Placing the device down, I felt peace return to me. Peace that was short-lived. I felt a large presence, trying to pinpoint it to any one life form, to no avail. My senses were blocked off, reaching out to identify something that evaded my vision.

"Padawan... listen, quickly now.." Her sentence was broken, like a transmission that was failing. I looked around for Sinna, yet I only heard her voice.

 _Fear_. 

I didn't know what was going on. What could possibly be the source of this much Darkness? My chest hurt, like the air had been knocked out of me. Time seemed to blur together, as shadows surrounded my already foggy vision. All I could seem to ask myself was: Why was this happening? Why can't I remember?

The panic was so overwhelming, I felt the fire in my lungs build until I finally just let it out!-

***

-"Master!"

I sat up, a bit of sweat falling down the side of my head. I kept breathing in and out, like every breath I took was my last. I blinked fully awake ,for only a moment, before I sensed it: a strong presence in the Force, in the room with me. In the course of a single second, I had already called my lightsaber to my hand, igniting it. I didn't even realize that I had risen to my feet already.

The green glow of my saber lit up the room, revealing the identity of the intruder.

Who turned out to not be an intruder at all.

"M..Master Kenobi?" I breathed out his name, in shock.

Despite my erratic behavior, the Jedi Master did not seem too startled, except by how close my lightsaber had gotten to him. Immediately, I sheathed my weapon, feeling immense shame and regret. Before I could even muster up the courage to speak, Obi-Wan seemed to sense my remorse.

"There's no need to apologize." He said, calmly. Too calmly.

"No, Master Kenobi, I-" I struggled to find the words. "I was just...." I paused, before regaining myself. Placing my mental barriers up, I restrained my emotions, and addressed the Master again. "What are you doing here?"

The man raised a brow, for only a moment, eyeing me curiously. He sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. "Well, there aren't many options for sleeping quarters, so I thought I'd come here. I didn't mean to wake you, but you were having a nightmare. I thought I'd calm you down, but..." He gazed at me, giving me another brief once-over. "You're shaking."

I hadn't notice the tremble in my hands. Regardless, I forced myself to look him in the eye. Perhaps it was a current warmth I felt from him that made it easier. His blue eyes revealed nothing, as he tried to search for the next move. It was like I could see his mind working, strategizing how to deal with me.

_Its pathetic that he has to._

"I'm sorry, Master." I gave him a nod. "I'm fine now...I was just startled, I suppose."

He nodded, understanding. "Then I should ask: are you alright? I know that you've been in battle before, but even so... I understand that seeing a war... is more difficult."

"It is," I nodded. "but that's not the reason I'm troubled, Master. I know that it's my duty to fight, to bring back peace to the Republic. It's not the _fighting_ that frightens me.... it's how it _feels_. The fear that we all felt, the anger. It all reminded me of..." I trailed off, suddenly feeling a bit _too_ honest for my liking. "...past experiences."

"It reminded you of what happened to Sinna Ballari?"

 _Of course he already knew_.

I felt ashamed, letting something that happened months ago have such an effect on me. But all the shame in the universe couldn't stop the slight pain I felt with just the mention of her name. I tried to read the Jedi Master before me, sensing for his emotions, so that I could understand what he may be thinking.

I had expected to find disappointment and doubt, like I had with most other Jedi Masters at the Temple. Anytime I had mentioned the incident, they always found the negative emotions that came with it alarming. But they also suggested that my fondness of my former Master revealed a new issue: my attachment to her. Yet another flaw that they would see, over all my other achievements.

However, when I reached out, I found a deep sense..of understanding.

I blinked, taken aback. Why did he react so differently? "Yes, her disappearance plagues me, I'm afraid. I'm learning to overcome it, and I've gotten better, so don't-"

"I'm not worried about your future as a Jedi, (Y/N)," He silenced my worries. "In the short time I knew her, Master Ballari always spoke highly of you, and you've already proven your loyalty to the Order. However, I understand how much her loss meant to you... I was not much younger than yourself when my Master, Qui-Gon Jinn, was killed."

He did not try to hide the fondness in his eyes and voice as he spoke about his Master, making me feel more at peace. The way his blue eyes widened, most likely remembering good moments they had shared, made him appear differently in my eyes. I wasn't seeing the intimidating Jedi Master and General, I was getting a glimpse of _him_. It was the most comfortable I had felt around another Jedi in a long time. It felt nice, to have someone understand and accept the grief I felt for my Master.

_Its Warm_

"It's been difficult, not being able to remember what happened. Not being able to know what caused it or I could've done to stop it." I admitted, for the first time out loud. "It's the uncertainty that makes me afraid."

"The Order teaches many things." Obi-Wan said, sounding as if speaking from experience. "However, the loss of your Master isn't something you can fix with words. Dealing with the aftermath is difficult, but possible. It's why I wanted you to become my Padawan."

When Anakin had mentioned Obi-Wan's request to teach me, I thought I had misunderstood him. But now, hearing the claim be confirmed, I felt a sort of relief. He knew about Sinna, about the Council's concerns, and still wanted to help me, when others wouldn't. I couldn't help but feel happy. Understood.

There was a comfortable silence that fell over us, as we faced each other. Like a silent conversation, we kept reaching out through the Force to help gain an understanding of each other, when words could fail. I almost hesitated to gravitate my Force towards him, my previous concerns arising. He didn't seem to share this restraint, and instead immediately attempted to calm me. Usually, I hated it when other Jedi tried to manipulate my emotions, but I allowed it, just this once. 

Eventually, even I could sense the Jedi Master's growing tiredness. He had just recovered from the bacta tanks, after all.

I didn't want to be the one to stop....whatever _this_ was. But he had to rest. We both had to.. and, as though he could understand what I was thinking, he opened his eyes and gave me a final nod. He went back over to his side of the quarters, and quickly succumbed to his exhaustion.

Feeling much more at ease than before, I also returned to my bed, laying my head down to rest, again.

And this time, my sleep was more peaceful than before.


	6. A Jedi Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a brief moment of rest, you find yourself back on the surface of Geonosis. This time, rushing to rescue Jedi Master Luminara, who had disappeared in pursuit of Poggle the Lesser.

After I fell asleep again, I found that my dreams were far more peaceful now.

I awoke with a sense of relief and satisfaction. Perhaps the isolation I'd grown used to was wearing me down, or perhaps it felt nice to know that a Jedi Master understood my feelings regarding Sinna's absence, rather than disapprove of them. Either way, I felt much more at peace than I had in a long time.

Of course, the brief moment of rest I had eventually came to an end. While Master Kenobi and I recovered from the Republic's initial attack on Geonosis, we awoke to find that the other remaining Jedi had been busy. While Master Mundi was continuing his recovery... Jedi Master Luminara and her Padawan, Barriss Offee, came to our aide. Apparently, both Barriss and Ahsoka had successfully detonated a bomb in the planet's droid factory, but had barely managed to make it out alive. Even now, hours after the event, I could sense anxiety among some of my Jedi peers.

As we boarded the ship that would take us to the Geonosian surface, Obi-Wan and I listened to their briefing, with total concentration. Even over a hologram, I could sense a strange tension between the Jedi Masters. A conflict between the two had occurred.

"It was a hard fight, but both Padawans were able to stay alive until we found them." Luminara stated, almost casually, not letting any amount of worry seep into her voice. It was almost as if there had been none at all.

I noticed Anakin's eyes narrow, only slightly. "Only because we were _still around_ to look for them when Ahsoka created a distress signal."

The two shared a disagreeable look. I was a bit surprised by Anakin's blatant expression of what felt like anger towards Luminara, but understood his feelings. From what I gathered, it seemed as though Luminara had opted to _not_ search for the younger Jedi, after the explosion. Much like my connection with Master Ballari, it was difficult to simply ignore the bond between a Jedi Master and Padawan learner, even if it was the Jedi Way to not get attached. In our way of life, it was the closest thing to a family that many of us will ever get to experience. It only made sense for Anakin to be angry at the thought of abandoning them like that, I certainly would be.

"As I stated before, Skywalker, your Padawan has proven herself to be more capable than I had initially thought..." Luminara gave Anakin a frown, continuing. "But what's done is done, and both Ahsoka and Barriss are safe now, and returning to the cruiser." She turned back to Obi-Wan. " Instead, we should focus our efforts towards capturing Poggle the Lesser. As long as he's still on the planet, we have a chance to gain valuable information on the Seperatist's plans."

"Agreed," Master Kenobi nodded, thinking as he placed a hand over his beard. "My Padawan and I will arrive on the surface shortly, to help with the search."

The woman gave a short smile, before stepping away, out of sight in the hologram. "I await your arrival, Master Kenobi."

After she had gone, Anakin was still facing us, waiting. He had a strange expression, something between confusion and humor, as he looked at his former Master. The older man raised a brow, causing me to look for his reaction. He seemed to understand it as much as I did. Which was not at all.

"Anything else to report?"

Anakin smiled, his shoulders relaxing, as he chuckled a bit. Laughing at his own personal inside joke. "Oh, no, _Master_ Kenobi... I'm just wondering if I should feel bad for your new Padawan. You look tired, _old man_ , it'd be a shame for her to have to pick up the slack."

I couldn't help but laugh, causing Obi-Wan to give me a surprised look. Anakin, on the other end, seemed amused by my reaction. The older Jedi turned back to his former student, with a flicker of annoyance and... embarrassment? Either way, it only fueled my quiet chuckles. Obi-Wan opened his mouth, no doubt to chastise Skywalker. " _Anakin_ -"

"Nothing but some harmless fun, Master."Anakin quickly defended, before rushing to say a goodbye. "I'll meet you once the searches clear the area."

And like that, the hologram feed ended, leaving Obi-Wan irritated. I, however, could not help but maintain a teasing grin. Kenobi looked at me.

"Must you encourage him?"

I composed myself to answer his question. Thinking back on how fondly Anakin looked to his former Master, I couldn't help but give a soft smile. "I find it endearing. I think it's comforting to know that some of us can find ways to be happy, even in the middle of a war."

"Perhaps, but with Anakin, it seems like every moment is purely entertainment. Sometimes I wonder where he got it from." Kenobi shook his head, giving a short, serious glance to the ship wall.

I reached out, placing a hand lightly over the Jedi's armor, pulling his attention. Just before he could get over the surprise of the sudden contact, I cracked another teasing look.

"Well, everything he learned, he learned from you."

He blinked, before giving a smile. "If _only_ that were true."

It wasn't long before we reached the surface again. Once landed, Master Kenobi and I went to check in with Master Unduli. She stood next to a couple of speeders, with a lone clone officer by her side. Looking off into the distance, she seemed to be searching for something on the horizon. I stepped off of the gunship, letting my legs get used to the feeling of the planet's gravity again. Then, I went to join the Jedi Masters.

Obi-Wan was the first one to speak, congratulating the Mirialan woman.

"A hard-won victory."

"Indeed. And a costly one." She added. "We suffer a great many losses in these battles. Too many."

I nodded in agreement with Luminara. Obi-Wan seemed to share our grim expressions. "The battles do appear to be coming with growing frequency."

"No sign of Poggle, then?" She asked, but it felt more like a statement. Her eyes flicked to me, for a moment.

I blinked."N..Nothing yet."

"We have clone squadrons spread out all over the area, but no hits yet."

Luminara took a breath, before gazing back out at the horizon. She must have felt something. Nodding her head, she quickly mounted on the speeder she had already prepared. "I'll go out and find some clue as to where he went."

I felt a flash of objection in my Master. "I'm sure the clones can handle-"

But she had already made up her mind, that much was clear.  
  
"Poggle has too much information about the Separatists to let him get away."  
  
"Very well, Master Unduli..."

Sensing his concern over her decision, she turned back at the man, with an amused gaze.

"Just make sure to leave a bit of strategic planning for me when I come back, Master Kenobi." She placed a pair of visors over her eyes. "I'd hate to feel left out."

For the next few hours after she left, Obi-Wan and I had been working with the clone troopers of both the 501st and 212th legions to scout around the area, looking for any Geonosians or battle droids. We divided our resources into four different groups, each going to search in a different direction. Master Kenobi was going to take a squad to the north, where there was open land. It was possible that while the Geonosians, themselves, would not be likely to take that route, a tactician droid may have tried to escape. Commander Cody took the west, where there was a valley to search, along with a series of small tunnels. Captain Rex went East, back towards the droid factory, in case there were any survivors or information about the Seperatists' plans. I was in charge of searching through the South, where there was apparently a group of Geonosian structures.

"But Master, it's unlikely that we'll find anything... most of our ships arrive from the South, surely we'd have seen something by now?" I asked, a bit worried that I wasn't being trusted with a real task. 

"You're right to think that, but since the South has the most shelter to hide, it's best to be sure that there are no enemy forces within them. The last thing we want is a surprise counter-attack." He nodded to me, before looking back at the two clone commanders. "Now, since my section is mostly flat land, I'll be the first to return. Report to me as soon as you get back."

"Yes, General."

After the briefing, I accompanied Captain Rex, who introduced me to the squadron of clones I would be in charge of. Many of whom were from Master Skywalker's ranks. Among them was a clone trooper who called himself Broadside, who would serve alongside me as a second-in-command. Like every living being, the energy around him was unique. What intrigued me about the clone was the steady hum of enthusiasm he seemed to hold. A trait I rarely saw, especially now. I introduced myself, grateful to have the help during the search.

"Good to have you, Commander," Broadside acknowledged. I sensed a friendly sense of curiosity come from the man. "What's our strategy?"

I brought up a hologram of the Southern sector, drawing focus to the outer ring of what remained from the Geonosian defenses. "We'll take speeders and make our way to the remaining droid outposts, furthest away from our central command. Given the short amount of time they've had to escape and the fact that they'd need to avoid our scanners, there's no way the Separatist forces could've made it out much further. We'll search the areas in between the outposts and command on our way back. If there are any survivors, they'll have nowhere to run."

The clones nodded, a feeling of silent agreement projected from them. I smiled.

"And what about the tunnel systems?"

_Kriff._

I hadn't thought of that. If the Geonosians made it to the tunnels, its possible that they could reorganize. Maybe even attack again. I felt a tingle of anxiety pass over me. _What should I do? Are we supposed to search the tunnels too? Surely not, there's not enough time!_

I felt as though someone was watching me now. And I didn't mean the clones. Perhaps I was letting my paranoia get the better of me. _I can't let my fear cloud my judgement._

I had to trust my instinct. I shook my head. "Luckily, the main catacombs we need to be worried about are within our starting zone. This means that it's unlikely anyone has reached them yet. Unfortunately, the tunnels stretch on for miles underneath the surface... we simply don't have enough time to do a thorough search both above and below ground. We'll do what we can, but should focus on clearing the surface, to make sure we don't face an immediate resistance. Even if the Geonosians regroup, they won't have enough time to strike back."

With each word, I felt more and more confident in my decision. It made sense, what I was saying. _At least, I hope it did-_

"Sounds like a plan." Broadside chuckled, giving me the validation I needed to soothe my worries, before turning to the other members of the squad. "You heard the Commander, move out!"

As they moved to find speeders for our search, I felt the presence of eyes on me again. Only it wasn't as intense as before, a soft sensation even. Stopping, I turned around and looked for the source, but all I could see were the scattered groups of clones rushing off to do their respective tasks. That, and Master Kenobi talking to Commander Cody, his gaze turned away.

_Then who..?_

When I tried to look again, I'd noticed the feeling had gone away. Leaving me clueless, and a bit uneasy. Regardless, I walked off towards the direction of my squad, ignoring the urge to find my watcher. When everything was ready, I got on top of my speeder, taking the lead among my group. Just before doing a final check, Broadside came up to me, holding a pair of visors for me. I'd forgotten them, forgetting that I wasn't wearing a helmet like my clone counterparts.

" _Maker_ , there's always something I get wrong..." I muttered to myself, blushing with embarrassment. I looked at the soldier, taking the visors with an appreciative yet shameful look. "Thank you."

He chuckled again. "No worries, just can't have you flying blind out there."

I laughed at the thought. "No, I suppose not."

Placing the visor, over my eyes, I started the engine of the vehicle. Checking in one last time with my squad, we finally went out to complete our search.

***

Hours had passed.

We were about a third of the way back from the outer edge of the Southern perimeter. We hadn't seen any signs of enemy scouts or survivors, both on our way out and way back. It seemed as though my initial thought was right. Aside from Poggle the Lesser, and his followers, there seemed to be nothing left to do. The Republic had successfully retaken the planet of Geonosia. Now all that was left for us to do was return to base.

Which _was_ the plan. Until it wasn't.

"Master Kenobi!" I called, patching a connection through to the Republic base. "This is (Y/N), do you hear me?"

As we were returning from our search, a sudden sandstorm had begun to roll in, making it nearly impossible. Luckily, a couple of the clones had spotted shelter before the worst of the storm hit. Now, we were crowded into a small structure and hiding from the weather, as I tried to contact Obi-Wan.

"Master Kenobi?" There was a scratchy sound that filled the commlink, letting me know that the storm was hindering my signal. Still, I kept trying.

Eventually, there was a moment of pause, and I finally heard a response. "(Y/n), we hear you. Are you alright?"

There was too much interference to see any figures on the hologram, but I could tell that the voice belonged to Obi-Wan. Sighing with relief, I smiled. "I'm fine, my men are too. We got trapped out here in the storm, but we've found shelter. I wanted to check in. We're nearly done with the search, and there's been no sign of any droid or Geonosian movement around the area."

"Good. The same can be said for all the other sectors."

"And what of Master Unduli? Did she find Poggle?" I asked.

There was a moment of silence, making me pause with unease. I heard another voice sigh. Anakin, I think. "We just received word...Luminara has tracked Poggle to the Progate Temple, not far from your position, but her connection was cut off. It seemed as though she encountered some resistance."

"Resistance?" I echoed. "What kind? Surely, the Geonosians don't have enough man power to fight."

"We're not sure, but we can't get to her through this storm. We have no option but to wait." Obi-Wan added.

I felt a pit of dread in my stomach, hearing those words. We had to wait? When Luminara was fighting off the enemy, all by herself? I was happy that none of the Jedi Masters were around, as they surely would've felt my troubled thoughts. _I can't just abandon her like that!_

_Even if she'd abandon her own Padawan in a similar position..._

"Master, we can't just wait!" I argued, looking out into the storm, thinking. "You said the temple is near my position, perhaps I can-"

" **No** , (Y/n), its too risky. We don't know what kind of opposition you'd find, even if your speeders survived the trip." He quickly shut me down. "Besides, I'd rather if we only have to deal with _one_ lost Jedi, than two."

I almost flinched at how much he opposed my idea. I was only trying to help, but I knew he was right. But even so, I felt a bit conflicted. I didn't like how I felt, knowing that Luminara was in trouble, and that I couldn't do anything. I felt useless. _What good is a Padawan who can't even keep a Master safe?_

I hadn't realized how silent I had been, until I heard Obi-Wan speak again. "When the storm clears, Anakin and I are going to take a group to help Luminara. I'm going to need you and your men to scout ahead at the temple and let us know what we'll be walking into."

The weight in my chest seemed to lift a little. I was going to help them find Luminara. With my spirits returned to me, I beamed, unable to keep the small smile out of my voice.

"I won't let you down, Masters."

***

As soon as possible, I organized a small search of the Progate Temple, where Master Luminara Unduli had last been heard from. Since the sand storm had erased any evidence of footprints or tracks, we had to use caution when approaching. Fortunately, it seemed as though no enemy forces were waiting for us to come. Upon entering the temple, I felt a tension in the air. There was a struggle here.

"Commander!" A clone trooper called me over. Rushing over to his side, I was horrified to find the body of another clone. The officer turned to me. "Buzz is dead."

"Sir, General Kenobi and General Skywalker have arrived!" Broadside said, before I could answer.

"Thank you, Broadside." Nodding, I rose to my feet. "We need to report to them, immediately. There's still no sign of Master Luminara."

Sure enough, both Anakin and Obi-Wan had arrived, landing a short distance away on a Republic gunship. I rushed to greet them, my men not far behind me. It looked as though the Jedi had also brought their fair share of troops. They were expecting a fight, much like I had. Then again, we still haven't found Luminara.

"Master Kenobi!" I greeted, before turning to Anakin. "Master Skywalker."

The older Jedi invited me to walk by his side, as they came to inspect the scene. I found myself staring at the Master Jedi, gauging their reactions. "Any sign of Luminara?"

"No, Master." I sighed. "but there was a struggle."

I lead them inside, where my squad of clone had been searching for clues about Luminara's disappearance. From there, I watched as they did their own look around, as I continued to report my own findings.

"There seems to be some blaster marks near the center of the temple, but not much else. I'm not sure where the enemy could've come from, or where they went."

Anakin went to explore further into the temple, while Obi-Wan reviewed the main entrance. I glanced around, searching for any new findings or clues. Eventually, something caught Kenobi's eye, drawing him to an object, hidden underneath some rubble.

"This is not a good sign."

"Luminara's lightsaber." I stated, staring at the object. I mentally checked for my own.

Obi-wan shook his head, thinking. "Poggle didn't do this."

"But maybe that did!"

The voice came from Anakin, calling us further into the Progate Temple. There, the younger Jedi stared up at a door. More specifically, a statue above it. It was distinctly designed to imitate a Geonosian, that much was clear, but it looked...off. I was was bigger than any Geonosian warrior I had seen, and had an intricate headpiece, which looked like a shell.

"That is one ugly bug." Anakin frowned.

I stared up, in wonder. "I haven't seen one that looks like that before."

"I don't believe anyone has. It could be the Geonosian queen." Obi-Wan mused.

Both Anakin and I turned to face Kenobi. Anakin rolled his eyes, a bit skeptical. "The bugs have a queen?"

Kenobi ran a hand through his beard."Mmm. Rumored. But we haven't found any proof of her existence. Until Now."

Obi-Wan continued to hold his hand near his face, as his eyes adopted a far away look that I was already becoming familiar with. He stepped back into the main entrance, where we had found Luminara's lightsaber. Approaching the center of the room, he stared at a circular design on the ground, eyeing it. I joined him, confused by his actions.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Do you sense that?"

I stared at him, feeling nothing. _But wait..._ I reached out, feeling for my surroundings through the force. There was an empty feeling in my stomach. _Wait... No._ My **legs**. _No_ , **underneath**...

Finally, I gave a small gasp. "Below us!"

Nodding, Obi-Wan reached out, and lifted the design from the floor, revealing a secret tunnel system. He called out to Anakin and the clones."This way!"

Immediately, we began to descend into the tunnels, not at all prepared for what we may find below. A subtle warm brushed my cheek, as I joined our group at the bottom of the opening. Once everyone was safely at the bottom, we began to move. We entered the tunnels. The clones turned on the night vision function of their helmets, and also used flashlights to reveal our path. I lit my lightsaber to provide more light.

I noticed Commander Cody amongst the clones that Anakin and Obi-Wan had brought. The man was using a scanner to detect routes and other paths that formed. Using this ability, he was able to effectively provide us with the best chance of finding Luminara or Poggle. Whichever came first.

Cody looked down two paths, both short and narrow, and then checked back in with his scanner. I felt an uneasy feeling of caution. If the tunnels were that small, that meant we needed to sheathe our lightsabers and put down our weapons, to squeeze through. It was risky. "This leads to a dead end.... _This_ one goes down the furthest." Cody turned to Obi-Wan. "Sir, I'd say that's our best bet."

"I'll go first." My Master replied, before entering the small crevice without so much as an ounce of hesitation.

I couldn't help but admire that trait, the unwavering lack of fear that he seemed to hold. Especially given the fact that he was the first to go through the tunnel, making himself the one most likely to be attacked. We didn't know what or who was at the end off this obstacle. Just the idea set me on edge. But my responsibility as a Jedi got me through my feelings. I wasn't just a Padawan right now, I was a Commander. And like my fellow Jedi, I had a responsibility to not let my fears get the better of me, since it's not just my life that is at risk.

Of course, like most things in life, it's easier _said_ than done. 

After Obi-Wan went through the tunnel, Anakin soon after, and I quickly followed the two. It wasn't a long crawl, in fact it was very brief. But is was dark, blindingly dark, and I had nothing but my sense of surrounding to guide me. Each beat of my heart came in a slow, hard thud. Thoughts passed through my mind, coming and going before I could even register most. _Am I even moving to the end? Why didn't Anakin or Obi-Wan say anything once they reached the other side? What if they never made it to the other-_

With a sudden shift in the air, I just barely reacted to the sudden opening I passed through, reaching the end of the small crevice. Once I stood up, I heard the rustling of soldiers following us. Once the three of us had emerged, we reignited our lightsabers, once again allowing us to see through the dark tunnels. The paths lead deeper now. I wondered how far we'd have to go.

Making our way forwards, we cautiously followed a straight path, with nothing but our senses and Cody's scanner to guide us.

For a while, we walked in total silence. I couldn’t sense and living thing nearby, so I was calm enough to keep my composure, when Obi-Wan’s commlink received a transmission. We all froze in place.

“Master Kenobi!” 

It was Luminara! She was alive, but seemed to be fighting something, based on the heavy sound of her breaths, followed by a faint thump in the background.

“If you're following me, you must leave this place. Just get out!” Her voice was urgent. “I repeat, fall back!”

Then, a static noise played over the device. The feed was cut off, despite her otherwise strong signal. I felt a strange conflict of emotions in me. I felt a dread, a creeping feeling that made me feel as though we were walking right into a trap. Perhaps we were. If I followed that feeling, I felt as thought we should do as she said: turn back. One loss may not be worth the possible other deaths that could follow, if we continued. Yet, at the same time, I felt a sort of determination. If Luminara was close enough for us to listen to her signal, not only did it mean that she was alive, it meant she was nearby. Which meant there was a chance of finding her, still.

"She must be close by..." Obi-Wan spoke, before thinking.

After a moment of thought, I finally looked to the two Generals for guidance, speaking my mind. "If that's the case, we have to find her! We're too close to turn back."

I half expected to be scolded, for blatantly defying Luminara's own orders to _not_ follow her. After all, I was a Padawan and she was a Master, surely that meant that her word outranked mine. But instead, I was met with looks of agreement from both Kenobi and Skywalker. They then looked to each other, a silent message between them, as hope filled in my chest. Anakin gave me a nod, before rushing down a corridor of the tunnel. "Come on!"

We immediately began running through the tunnels, following the lead of the Jedi men. I didn't know what exactly went through my head at the time, all I knew was to keep moving forwards. Focus on Master Kenobi. We moved forwards, then turned. another sharp turn, and another. We weren't relying on Cody, as we had been before. We went on instinct, and where the Force would lead us. As we moved, I felt a shift in the air. It was warmer now, and I felt as though I could sense certain differences in each path. Down some halls, I felt a stiff, stagnant sensation in the air. Dead-Ends. _Was this what Anakin and Obi-Wan were sensing?_

I didn't have the time to linger on that thought, before we began to slow down. Obi-Wan raised a hand, signaling that something wasn't right. We slowed to a halt, before my Master raised his lightsaber, illuminating the dark tunnels. There seemed to be nothing. Even from here, I couldn't sense any life form nearby through the Force.... _so then why?_

Then, I heard it. The faintest chattering sound. There was a shift in the air, pushing towards me, as though there was suddenly an air current. But that wasn't possible....That meant that something had to be moving our way! I readied my stance, right as the shadows surrounding us began to move. Moving oddly, the Geonosian soldiers that approached us seemed slow, almost as though they all had a limb. Perhaps they were injured.

Since the three of us who were Jedi were at the front of the group, we were the ones who had to fight them off, with only a small amount of help from the clones. In such a crowded space, it wasn't safe or wise for them to shoot, unless they had to. As the Geonosians approached, I slashed at them, left and right. I caught a couple of their limbs in the process, hoping to slow them down or to frighten the others off.

"(Y/n), look out! Beside you!"

I heard Anakin call out to me, as a moment of fear passed over me. _How did I miss-_

As I turned to my side, I found the Geonosian that I had just injured. The shock alone should've been enough to keep the bug down! It wasn't until I plunged my lightsaber into the creature's heart that I understood. The Geonosian, my weapon in it's chest, continued to writhe around. I noticed the smell first, the burning scent of flesh.... but also decay. Then, the eyes. They were glossed over, with a white-silver sheen.

 _Dead_.

I gasped, cutting the Geonosian down for good. My heart raced, as I found myself filled with a new fear. Looking around, I searched for something to tell me that I was wrong. That it was just in my head. Instead, my fears were confirmed. Sure enough, the same white shine reflected on _all_ of the Geonosians that now fought us. I felt my breath hitch, as I found myself being slowly pushed back. _They were dead...They were dead! That's_ why we couldn't sense them in the Force!

_Why we can't sense them now._

I heard a clone trooper say something, right before I heard the sound of gunfire. But they weren't shooting in our direction. Instead, I noticed the blue light of blaster fire was coming from behind me. We were surrounded. Or, if we weren't, we were going to be.

"Master!" I called, as I cut down another two walking corpses.

I couldn't tell if he had heard me, not that it mattered much. Very soon, Commander Cody came to the same conclusion I had. "We can't stop them!"

Soon, Obi-Wan ordered for our group to retreat, taking out the tunnel's support system along with it. Clones fired at the enemy, while I worked to cut down the remaining zombies that were closest to us. Once the support beams were destroyed, the tunnel's ceiling began to collapse on itself, crushing the swarm beneath it. Finally, we were granted a moment of peace.

"What _were_ those things? We couldn't kill them!" Anakin asked the question that I was too in-shock to say, looking to Obi-Wan for guidance. 

The man looked almost shocked, himself, as he leaned on a wall, his breathing heavy. "I..I've heard stories of a Geonosian hive mind so powerful, so strong, that it can maintain its connection with its warriors even after they have died."

"And you think that's why we couldn't kill them?"

"Because they're..." I trailed off, remembering the way their eyes reflected.

"Already dead, yes." Obi-Wan nodded, before taking a step closer to me and Anakin.

The younger Jedi shook his head, in disbelief. "That can't be true. That's impossible!"

"Impossible or not, these creatures keep moving after we cut them up or shoot them down." Master Kenobi ran a hand through his now-messy hair, before turning to Cody. "How're your men?"

"Lost a couple in the collapse," The clone stated, before looking down. "Five more in the fight. Bugs took them."

A chill ran through me, along with the feeling of loss. In the fight, I hadn't noticed that the clones had been killed. I thought that I'd kept as many as I could away from the soldiers. Then again, we were surrounded. It would've been easy to lose track of everything...We could've lost more, if we hadn't left when we did.

I fought between my feelings of guilt and the urge to move on, before turning to the Jedi Generals. "We should call for reinforcements. If the Geonosians are able to fight us even after death, then who knows how many are down here with us?"

Obi-Wan looked hesitant. "Perhaps...but it's risky. We've already put ourselves at risk by disobeying Luminara's wishes. I'm not sure if its worth bringing more men down here-"

"Come on, Master," Anakin argued, in my defense. "(Y/n)'s right. If the hive mind is that strong right now, then we must be getting close! And now we know what to expect."

Anakin was completely confident in his words, speaking his opinion clearly, without hesitance. He gave me a reassuring glance. I couldn't help but look up to him in that moment. Even though he was younger than me, he was still leagues above me. Perhaps it was his confidence that caused him to be such a good Jedi? Or was it more? Certainly, it was his confidence that made him a good _General_. He had confidence in himself, but also in the people he lead.

Obi-Wan thought about it for a moment more, before sighing. "Agreed. Call for reinforcements. Master Mundi can begin sending more clones, while we find Luminara."

Anakin nodded, before turning to his commlink. It blinked red. "There's no signal."

"Fine,"Kenobi turned to the clones. "You two, head back to the surface and contact General Mundi. Tell him we need reinforcements."

The two clones rushed off with their new orders, while the rest of use regrouped and continued through the maze of the tunnel system. While we left, I reached out, searching through the Force. I could only sense them while they were near, but I tried my best to focus on the two clones. I followed their presence, as the main group began to progress forwards. It wasn't until the two stopped, that I felt that there was something wrong. 

"Master Kenobi." I paused, gaining the attention of Obi-Wan and Anakin.

"What is it?" Master Kenobi looked at me, noticing my hesitance. "What's wrong?"

The sound of blaster fire filled the air, coming from where the two clones had just left. Rushing to help them, me, Anakin, and Obi-Wan ran down the corridor. When we found them, it was too late. They were dead. And there was no sign of any Geonosians anywhere.

"They were just with us!" I exclaimed, in disbelief. 

Anakin's expression was dark. "Obviously the thing is a lot more powerful than we assumed. I'm going to the surface to alert General Mundi myself."

"I think that would be a foolhardy move, Anakin." Obi-Wan argued. "We can't divide our troops again. We don't have time to double back to the surface. Every moment we waste  
puts Luminara in greater danger. We have to move on."

"Without reinforcements?" I asked. It was already becoming a struggle to fight them now, and we were going to face more. Would we be able to fight back?

"It was a good call, but unfortunately we just don't have the time to sit and wait anymore. We still have a chance of rescuing Luminara now."

"I understand, Master."

As we descended further below the Geonosian surface, the air became warmer with each passing second. The smell of rot and decay increased, along with the faint sound of chittering in the distance. We had to be getting close. As we continued, Anakin made a few backhanded comments on Geonosia, claiming that it was rotten from the inside out. I walked in silent agreement. While progressing further, I was acutely aware of the clones, and how many left there were. I know that they're meant to be soldiers, but their lives were as valuable as any other. And I didn't want any of them to die, just because I wasn't paying attention.

Up ahead, I felt a shift in the air again. I felt movement. Staying close to my fellow Jedi, we approached an entrance, leading into a large room.

Anakin sighed. "I've got a bad feeling about this."

We entered, careful not to alert anyone that we were there. In the room, hundreds of dead Geonosians stood, facing a giant bug-like creature. It's face was identical to the statues on the surface.

"It must be the queen." Obi-Wan pointed out, crouching down. "Any sign of Luminara?"

Cody nodded, using his helmet to see. "I see her. She's suspended near the throne."

"Perfect. What about Poggle?"

"He's...speaking with the queen."

"Good." Anakin chimed in, reaching for his lightsaber. "You and your Padawan can take the soldiers, I'll take the queen."

Obi-Wan frowned. "Must you always rush into things?"

The two shared a conflicted look, before Anakin shook his head. "Oh, no. You don't actually want to talk to it, do you?"

"Matter of fact, I do. Anakin, don't you wonder why they took Luminara captive? Why not just kill her?"

"She's leverage. She's a hostage." Anakin answered, as if it were obvious.

Obi-Wan raised a brow. "Leverage for what? It's not like they knew for sure that we were coming here. No, there's something else going on here, and these zombies are connected to it."

Finally, Anakin gave in. "Fine. We'll try it your way."

"So glad you agree."

As Cody and his men set up a perimeter, the three of us who remained prepared to meet the Queen. I looked out, watching for Luminara. From a distance, I could make out her shape, hanging next to the throne. Her lightsaber was gone, most likely taken. It would be a risky move to reveal ourselves. 

_Surely he can't be serious.. talking to it?_

While I agreed that using violence would be reckless, it's clear that the Geonosians don't want to talk. We've fought on their planet twice now, what makes Master Kenobi think we won't be killed? 

When the time came, the three of us entered the room, announcing our presence. I almost flinched when they turned to face us, thinking they'd attack. When they didn't, I could feel a sort of smug pride come from Master Kenobi. After all, they had just proved him right. Whispering, Anakin voiced his disagreement.

"Anakin, the queen took Luminara hostage. She wanted a Jedi, now she has three more." Obi-Wan said. "I want to know what she's after."

I felt my heart pound, a chill going through me. A _cold_ chill. "What if she just wanted to lure more Jedi down here, to die? I'm not sure walking right up to them was our best option."

"Well," Anakin smiled, teasing. "when this doesn't go as planned, which it _won't_ , I'll be ready."

"That is so reassuring." I sighed.

When we came before the Queen, we could see Luminara clearly now. The Mirialan woman raised a brow, almost...disappointeed?

"I thought I told you _not_ to follow me, Master Kenobi."

"Yes, well, I took a lesson from Anakin and decided _not_ to follow orders." 

Anakin paused. "Hey!"

" _ **You**_."

There was a high-pitched whine that came from the massive Geonosian before us. The Geonosian Queen looked down, inspecting us with disgust. I felt a tremor of anger in her.

"You are the creatures that attack Geonosia! Why have you come before me?"

Your Majesty, it is a pleasure to finally meet you." My Master spoke, as though he were speaking to any other high-ranked official. "I am Obi-Wan Kenobi, this is Anakin Skywalker and my Padawan. It is our sad duty to inform you that your rule is at an end."

 _Not very subtle, Master._ I fought to bite my tongue. But the way the dead Geonosians' bodies swayed after that sentence sent a spark of fear through me again. And the Queen's expression only added to my worry.

"You not dictate to me, Jedi! My empire is **forever**!"

"I'm afraid it does not appear that way, Your Grace. You shall release the Jedi Luminara and submit to Republic law."

"I no submit to you!"

The guards nearest to the Queen raised their weapons, taking a step towards us. Anakin reached for his lightsaber, before Obi-Wan stopped him. I held a hand over my own.

"No, patience, Anakin. Wait." He turned back to the Queen. "Majesty, destroying us shall only make the Republic's judgment of you harsher."

"No, Jedi. No! I no destroy you, I devour you! I control you." Her voice held a slight amount of mischief. Like a child pulling a prank. "I had but one Jedi before young Poggle bring me, but now I have four!"

One of her guards brought out a small, green object. Looking closer, I saw that it was an egg, of some sort. An egg that began to hatch, revealing a worm-like creature. I held back my disgust.

The Queen laughed. "Now, watch as my child enters your Jedi friend. And once inside, her mind becomes my mind, her thoughts, _my_ thoughts."

"It's a sort of mind control, a hive mind. She thinks she can possess us." Kenobi concluded.

"Great. Find out everything you wanted to know yet?" 

Anakin and I were anxious, as the Geonosians began to become more and more active. The worms were being brought closer to Luminara, threatening to harm her. I reached for my lightsaber-

"No, wait," Obi-Wan looked at me, to my disbelief. "I want to see how it works."

"Master, you can't be serious!" I exclaimed.

"I don't think Luminara wants to see how it works." Anakin added, as Luminara agreed.

I watched in shock as the older Jedi shook his head. "I'm curious. The more we know, the better."

By this point, the worm was now being lifted to Luminara's face, as she thrashed about to avoid it. Everything in me was telling me to either run or fight, but I knew I had to obey. Obi-Wan obviously had a plan, or else he wouldn't risk something like this......or would he? After all, I hardly knew him. Would he risk Luminara's life like this?

"I disagree!" Anakin said.

"So do I." I answered, looking to Obi-Wan. "Whatever you're planning, we need to do it now."

The man raised a brow, completely calm. "Come, now, patience. The nose or the ear?"

" _What_?" 

"Which do you think it will enter?" He repeated.

Anakin sighed, next to me. "I think the nose."

Once the worm began to crawl on her face, Luminara looked to Master Kenobi and gave a hopeful look.

"I hope this is a part of the plan?"

The older Jedi grinned, his hand hovering over his lightsaber. "Isn't it always? _Cody, now!"_

In an instant, the clone soldiers came out of hiding, and turned the bright lights from their helmets on. Temporarily blinding the creatures, they began to fire at the swarm, giving us the opportunity to save Luminara. As the Queen gave out a pained screech, Anakin was able to grab Luminara's lightsaber from a guard, igniting it. Lighting my own weapon, I began to fight off the enemy. Anakin freed Luminara, before arresting Poggle, taking him as a prisoner. I began to head towards the clones, as the Geonosians began to fight back. It wouldn't take them long to overpower us. We had to clear a path, and get out. Now.

Looking around, I noticed a group of clones get cornered. Among them, was a slightly familiar presence.

"Broadside!" I called out, before cutting through another zombie. "Get down!"

On my order, the clone group crouched down, as I threw my lightsaber in their direction. It spun in a circle, slicing anything in its path. Including the heads of a line of Geonosian zombies. Using the Force, I pulled my saber back into my hand, catching it. I waved my hand, signaling the clones to follow me. Together, we joined back up with Commander Cody, at the entrance we first came through. Once there, I prepared the men to leave, as we waited for the Generals.

"Take out the support beams! Now!"

Just as Master Kenobi had planned, the clones began to fire at the beams, making the structure unstable. Ordering for the clones to retreat, I gave one last look into the throne room. The Queen began to screech, as more and more zombies emerged. Anakin, Luminara, and Poggle all rushed to Obi-Wan, and a small group of clones by his side. I wanted to wait for them, but I had to lead the rest of the soldiers out, so that we would slow down.

_If I don't move now, we might all be trapped down here!_

I went to move, but my feet remained still. My eyes were glued to the three Jedi, as more enemies revealed themselves. My heart pounded, as my shaking hand held on to my weapon, as I found myself frozen. I had to go, but I couldn't leave without them! I was sure Commander Cody could get the clones out, but-

My thoughts were cut short by the cry of pain that came from one of the clones below. One soldier who was separated from the group was lifted up into the air, taken by the zombie bugs. The Geonosian swarm began to surround the Jedi and clones, as a wave of dread passed over me. I felt helpless. I felt scared.

I reached out in the Force, urging them to escape.

It wasn't long before the Geonosians turned some of their attention to me, as I stood there, frozen with fear. I hastily fought back, finding the will to move again. I remained by the entrance, hoping the group would be able to fight back against their attackers in time, before the roof would inevitably collapse. There was only one thing on my mind now: to keep the entrance clear. By now, it'd be more risky for me to try and rejoin Commander Cody, so the best thing I can do is make sure the Jedi escape.

But, of course, that's easier said than done.

It was hard to fight against the Geonosians. It was dark, with my lightsaber as my only form of light. Each time I cut down one body, another took it's place. I took a defensive stance, and focused on keeping distance between them and me. At first, it was easy, but after a while, I found myself outnumbered. As waves kept coming at me, their glossed eyes reflecting the green hue of my lightsaber, I realized that it wouldn't be long before they overpowered me.

I felt the brush of a hand on my arm, before I quickly cut at the Geonosian responsible. They were close enough _touch_ now. Spinning my saber, I desperately tried protecting myself, but eventually was caught. The Geonosians grabbed at my arms, causing me to try and yank my limbs away. It was no use, there were just too many. It was chilling, their touch. Our perhaps it was simply my shock. Either way, it felt as though the air had been ripped from my lungs. Along with my hope.

"(Y/n)!"

I heard a voice, but wasn't sure who's it was. I couldn't focus enough to sense them, but continued to struggle against the zombie's hold. I could feel the exhaustion in me, as every bone in my body told me to just give in. That there was no use in fighting. It was my fear getting to me. It was cold.

 _Sinna_. I reached out for my former Master, another instinct caused by my fears.

Through the Force, I felt a nudge...No, a hold, over my being. It was comforting, enveloping me in a warmth. 

**No.** Not a warmth.

**A heat.**

The Geonosians ripped away my lightsaber, and began to lift me up. They intended to drag me away... or bury me with them. The _heat_ burned around me. What first felt comforting....now felt powerful. Almost... angry?

Whatever it was, it snapped me from my frozen state. Even without my saber, I could fight. Giving out a growl, I turned my attention onto the zombies holding me. With a pulse, I threw them back using the Force, causing them to drop me. However, I had been too focused on getting away to prepare myself for a landing. As I fell, I braced myself for the hard hit of the floor beneath me.

A hit that never came.

"Padawan, hurry!" Luminara's voice rang out, below me.

I opened my eyes, and found my body being suspended and lowered down slowly. I didn't have time to question it, before the others joined me, heading for the exit. I noticed Kenobi, his eyes closed for a brief moment, as he followed behind the others, before matching their sprint. As we went to escape the chamber, I searched around, looking for my lost weapon. Luckily, it was only a few feet away. Grabbing it, I quickly turned to join the others, dodging falling rocks.

We raced through the tunnels, as more and more zombies appeared from the shadows to pursue us. I didn't have the focus to try and find a path to follow. Instead, I had to trust that the Jedi Masters were leading us out through the right path. At the rate we seemed to be going, one wrong turn meant death. 

"Up ahead!" Luminara called, from the front of the group. "This is our way out!"

She slowed, just below an opening in the tunnels, a hole that lead up. Sunlight from the surface peeked through. The exit.

Anakin pushed Poggle up the shaft, before they began to climb. Then, the clones and Luminara followed. Finally, I lifted myself up, before beginning my climb. I could still hear the chattering of the Geonosians. Could still feel the dread and disgust when I looked into their dead eyes. _And they were still coming..._

Again, the warmth returned.

I looked over, briefly. Finding the blue gaze of my Master's, I held my breath. It was almost as though I knew what he was thinking:

_"Calm yourself."_

It was firm, but wasn't cruel. A reminder. Shaking my doubts, I continued to climb, and tried to ignore the pound in my chest. All I needed to focus on was getting myself and the rest of the group to the top of the tunnel. I saw Luminara look back, past me and Obi-Wan, before her eyebrows furrowed.

"Obi-Wan, look out!"

Glancing down the tunnel, I wasn't surprised to see the zombie soldiers still following us, but _was_ surprised by just how close they were. Since Master Kenobi was the last of us to begin climbing, he was also the closest to the Geonosians, much to my dismay. But I had to stay calm, and keep moving, or else I'd only add to the problem. I had to fight the urge to help. Hearing his lightsaber ignite, I listened as the Geonosians began to cry out below us, before a silence came back over them. By the time we had reached the top, I could barely hear the chatter of their wings anymore.

Once on the surface, I quickly turned back to check on my Master. He was still a ways down, with the zombies climbing up after him. 

"Master Skywalker, we-"

Anakin came to my side. "Already on it."

Anakin and I both closed our eyes, and pushed out into the Force, manipulating our auras to move what we wanted. While Anakin pushed the zombie hoard down, back into the caves, I worked to lift Obi-Wan back to the surface. Placing the man onto the ground, I sighed. Finally met with a moment of pause, I was hit by the exhaustion, both mentally and physically.

After taking a breath, I got up, and rejoined our group. In the moment, I had failed to notice that Commander Cody and his men were also here. They had escaped out the same path we had, it seemed. Once everything calmed down, we began to make preparations to leave. Luminara placed Poggle onto the Republic airship, before returning to speak with Anakin and Obi-Wan. I listened as they discussed how they'd report the event to the Council, and their concerns regarding the Geonosian hive mind.

As we left, I walked side by side with Master Kenobi, feeling a bit shameful.

"You seem uneasy." 

_Of course he'd notice._

I looked at the blonde man, debating over my words. "You must think I'm a coward, Master Kenobi."

He blinked, but didn't speak. His expression let me know that he wanted me to continue. 

"The entire time we've been here.... Anytime my emotions, my fear got the better of me... you've noticed it. But you haven't said anything!" I felt a bit frustrated, now that I've pointed it out. "The very least you can do is tell it to my face."

He stopped. "You doubt yourself too much. While it's true that we don't know much about each other, I know you are not a coward. In fact, I'd say that today proves that you're very brave."

"Brave?" I scoffed. "I've been afraid ever since we landed on this planet!"

"And yet, you still fought." Kenobi countered. "Fear is completely natural, and considering it was your first time in battle- _in war,-_ you did better than I expected. Believe me, if I truly thought you a coward, I would've sent you back to Coruscant the moment we returned to the cruiser."

I furrowed my brows, conflicted. " As Jedi, we can't let fear cloud out judgement. I'm not supposed to feel afraid. But I am. I'm not fearless like you, or Master Skywalker."

"Oh, I have my own fair share of fears." The man hummed in disagreement. "Anakin too. We've just learned how to hide it, and not let it control us."

"But its so hard..." I sighed, looking to Obi-Wan as we stepped onto a gunship, ready to leave. "I try and push it back, but my emotions always come back to me."

"That's because you're not letting it go. It's natural to let your emotions pass through you. As a Jedi, you have to learn to let yourself feel these emotions, to ride out the worst of it, before calming yourself." The Jedi Master explained. "It's hard, at first, but eventually it becomes second nature."

It hadn't dawned on me that I had been going about the issue the wrong way. For months... No, my whole life as a Jedi, I'd been pushing down every little feeling of fear or anger or darkness. I thought that since we were told not to let these emotions control you, that it meant we weren't supposed to feel them at all. I never thought about letting it go. I never thought about allowing myself to feel, before calming down and finding peace.

I blinked, a bit unsure. "And...what if the worst of it is too much? What if I can't handle it on my own?"

"Well, that's why I'm here, my dear."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd just like to add that while I've based the beginning of this fic around the Geonosis arc of the Clone Wars, I plan on the rest of the story being mostly original, with maybe one or two events from the Clone Wars sprinkled in to keep up with the timeline. This start has mainly been setting up the character dynamics between the main cast.
> 
> Also:
> 
> Did I add a clone character who's literally in the show for like one episode? Yes.  
> Will we be seeing more of him again? Maybe.  
> Did I say this was a slow burn? Yes, but don't worry, we'll start picking up the pace real soon.


	7. "Peacekeepers"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After you begin your training under Obi-Wan, you start to question your views on the War.....and the Jedi's role in it.

"Now, what happened to all the energy from Geonosis? I feel like you're not even trying to hit me!"

I felt the ache in my arms as I blocked yet _another_ hit from Master Kenobi.

When we had returned from Geonosis, I had expected some sort of reprieve from fighting. After being summoned by my Master, I had been relieved to see that he was no longer wearing the white and worn armor that he had during the Battle on Geonosis, and had returned with common tan and brown Jedi robes. Naively, I thought this meant that our training today would be less... intense.

Day after day, we would come down to the training ground, and we would spar and fight one another. At first, it was fine. But after the next couple of days, I began to wonder why we were here. Was he simply trying to understand how I fought? Is he trying to gauge how far along my training I am? Or was it something else?

Another swing came down, hitting the training saber that I held. Stinging rushed through my senses again, reminding me of my exhaustion. Kenobi, who wielded an identical saber, looked as though the last couple of hours had hardly effected him. His breaths were even and steady, while mine began to falter with effort. Just by looking at the two of us, you could tell who had more experience. While I fought to keep myself composed, the Jedi before me had only a hair out of place.

What was truly aggravating was the man's subtle grin, which seemed to grow with each passing comment.

"What's wrong?" Obi-Wan smirked. "You seem tired."

Each day, I grew more and more familiar with the Jedi Master's taunts, which seemed to come naturally to him.

Pushing back with my saber, I grunted from the effort. I _was_ tired. But I couldn't give him the satisfaction of being proved right. Taking a quick breath, I calmed myself again and rushed forwards. Since it was clear that Kenobi was stronger than I was, speed had to become my ally. I started a spree of quick jabs and slashes, aiming for the parts of his body that would disarm him if we had used _actual_ lightsabers. After a swipe at his shoulder, I predicted the block that he would use, and redirected my momentum towards an attack on his leg.

And once again, I was blocked. Looking up at the man, I locked my gaze with his blue eyes.

"Are you _trying_ to bore me?"

"Perhaps." I replied, before lifting our clashing blades higher, so that I could have a better hold on my weapon. "Master Kenobi, I believe I should offer you some advice."

"Is that so?" He raised an eyebrow, clearly confused.

I nodded sweetly, trying to pretend as though my arms weren't shaking under pressure. "If you're trying to insult me, at _least_ be clever about it. If anything, I would've thought _you_ were trying to bore _me_."

He broke away, stepping back into a defensive stance, blinking. As I mirrored him, I couldn't help but wear a smug grin, knowing I had surprised him with my words. It didn't take him long to recover though, because the subtle grin returned yet again. I braced myself for another attack. In our standoff, I found myself staring over his form. He used a different fighting technique than I was used to facing, one that also used speed to overpower an enemy. Since we both used our speed to fight, endurance would be the deciding factor. And unfortunately, I seemed to be losing.

"You know, if you put in half as much as the effort you put in your words into your actions, I might actually start to see you as a challenge." 

I felt a flash of irritation, before it was replaced by pride. "Careful, _Master_ Kenobi, one might think you were trying to anger me." I started to circle around him, hoping to bait him into attacking. "Luckily, I'm not a child."

I sensed a bubble of amusement come from the blond Jedi, before he shifted into a new fighting stance.

During this whole interaction, it hadn't dawned on me that we had been locked in a stare the entire time. It wasn't as though it was necessary, in terms of fighting. If either of us wanted to sense what the other's next move would be, we would use the Force. Yet, for some reason, I didn't want to break our exchange. I found it exciting to try and read the Jedi, knowing that he was doing the exact same thing. Wondering who would make the next move.... it was a battle, itself.

"Oh? Is that so?" He allowed his expression to drop, feigning seriousness. "You could've fooled me."

He leapt forwards, using the Force to increase his momentum. Luckily, I was focused, and didn't fall for his taunt. I blocked the blow, knocking his saber to the side to weaken the impact. We exchanged a few more hits, before the fatigue got the better of me. My arms fell for a moment, too sore from the constant training. In a second, the Jedi Master disarmed me, throwing the training saber out of my grasp. Pointing the end of the blade at my neck, Obi-Wan smirked.

"Yield."

I knew that the fight wouldn't be over until I surrendered. And truly, it did look as though there was no other option for me. After all, if it had been a real fight, there was almost no possible way I could get out of the situation. _Almost_.

I placed my hands up, to eye level, as though I was giving up. I noticed Kenobi relax a little. Taking my chance, I grabbed the man's hand, which held his weapon, and pushed it over my shoulder. Using what strength I had, I flipped him over my shoulder, and onto the ground. I heard his gasp, startled by my move, and felt amused, knowing I had surprised the Jedi Master, again. As soon as he recovered, he went to reach for the training saber, which had fallen out of his grasp after I threw him. Unfortunately, it was too late.

Using the Force, I pulled the training saber into my hand, and pointed it down at Obi-Wan. Mimicking his voice, I repeated the same word back to him: "Yield."

"Impressive." He sighed. "Very well, I yield."

Helping the man up onto his feet, I handed the training saber back to him, before noticing the curious stare he held. Trying to read him, I sensed his emotions.... approval.... surprise... and curiosity. Seeming to sense my growing unease, Obi-Wan finally asked what he'd been thinking.

"Tell me, who taught you that move? Most of the Padawan I've helped train give up without their weapon."

"Most Padawan you've helped aren't as experienced as me." I countered, allowing myself to feel prideful in my small victory. "It's a disarming technique Master Ballari taught me, in case I ever lost my lightsaber. It's a bit risky, but my Master used to say it was better than giving up."

"Depending on the situation." Kenobi replied. "Though, you wouldn't have needed to use that move if you had _actually_ tried to fight me."

I bit back the embarrassment I felt at being caught. It was true. While we were sparring, I'd been pulling my punches after the first few rounds, and attacking only to disarm the Jedi Master, rather than harm him. After the first few rounds, I thought he had either not noticed, or chose to ignore it. But, judging by the authoritative look he was wearing, it seemed that this wasn't the case.

So _this_ is why we'd been practicing for so long.

"You know, this training session is meant to prepare you, so that you aren't caught in another situation like Geonosis." Just his mentioning of the event made me feel shameful. "How am I supposed to prepare you for a battle, if you won't defend yourself?"

"I defend myself," I argued. "Did I not just spend the last hour defending against you?"

"I was holding back." 

"So was I." I pointed out. "My former Master always told me to defeat an enemy without causing unnecessary harm."

"Perhaps, but sometimes we can't always be granted that luxury. Especially now." He frowned, a ripple of disapproval radiating from his aura. "As your Master, it's my responsibility to prepare you for that reality, so that you aren't put in danger again. And as my Padawan, it is your responsibility to further your training, not _hinder_ it. And as Jedi, we both have a duty to the Republic to _fight_ , so that we may _end_ the war."

He was right. I knew that. But something was troubling me, about the _way_ we were training.

"I'm aware of our duty. If you recall, I killed plenty of the Geonosian people, during our battle." I stated, my tone a bit too aggressive, before calming myself once more. "It's not the fighting, itself, that concerns me, Master. It's the reasons why we're fighting. It troubles me that the Order-"

I wanted to say my thoughts, but stopped. It had dawned on me a little too late, the scene that was playing out. Me, a Padawan learner who had just recently had my future as a Jedi _questioned_ by the Council, was about to criticize the Order. To a Jedi _Master_ , no less. 

My words fell silent, as I retreated back into my mental barriers. In an attempt to save myself from the inevitable questioning, I raised the training saber.

"I'm sorry, Master. I-"

"No," He stopped me, with a wave of his hand, stepping closer. "You can be honest with me, it's clear that you're hiding your thoughts. What troubles you?"

"I'm not..." I stumbled on my words, feeling doubtful for a moment.

By this point, it was clear that our training session was over. Yet, I now felt more uneasy than ever. Not only in myself... but also the Order. I believed in the Order, or at least what it stood for, but the conflict of the Clone War had opened my eyes to issues I had been ignorant of in the past. I had never questioned the Order or the Jedi Council until now, and I felt....scared. Doubtful. But then I felt the warmth. _His_ warmth, reaching out.

"I'm just troubled by thought that maybe we've begun to lose our way."

It felt like I was taking a huge leap, telling Kenobi about my views. Especially since he was a Jedi Master, and could easily have my loyalty to the Order questioned.

And yet, as I spoke, I felt no shift in him that made me feel uneasy. "Go on?"

"As Jedi, we're supposed to be peacekeepers. All life is precious to us, and yet... we're trained to fight- to kill. And now that the Clone War has started, we've become soldiers. We've become Commanders and Generals, and all that proves is that we fit into those roles almost _too_ well. I know that you're right: we have to fight to maintain peace. But isn't it our role to stop wars from ever starting in the first place? I can't help but feel as though I'm betraying everything I've been told. Everything my Master taught me. Especially now, after seeing the War, and our part in it." I continued. "I understand that I still have much to learn, and that this is part of my training...But would you be trying as hard as you are to improve my fighting skills if the war had never started? I feel as though we're putting more thought and effort into becoming soldiers, rather than the peacekeepers we are supposed to be."

To be honest, I didn't even know I felt this strongly about it, until now. During my time at the Jedi Temple, it wasn't as though I had anyone to voice my opinion or views to, with my Master being gone. It was like pieces of a puzzle, all falling into place. Even before the war, there were Jedi, like Master Ballari, that felt as though the Order had become enforcers, rather than peacekeepers. And once I was alone, I found myself agreeing with my Master's old views. I'd spend my days, training in the Temple, as I overheard conversations of the Clone War, and thought about how strange it was that the Jedi Order had become a military.

"I trust in the Council... as Master Ballari once did." I sighed, shaking my head. "And I'm not sure if I would've made a better decision in their place, but..."

I trailed off, feeling as though I had spoken too much. I noticed that uncertainty swirled around me, making my doubts appear clearly to Obi-Wan. 

"Your doubts are troubling."He spoke, as though he were still sorting his thoughts. After another moment, he nodded to himself, before looking back at me. "It's as you said, we should trust the Council's decisions. While it's true that the Jedi may have rushed into war too quickly, it's our responsibility to be a part of it."

"But by being a part of it, aren't we encouraging the conflict?" I countered, as I struggled internally with my thoughts. 

_Was I the one that was wrong? How are we following the Code, the laws I've dedicated my life to upholding, by playing a role in the War? Was I wrong to question the Council?_ The questions were endless.

"That's one way to look at it." Obi-Wan spoke, placing a hand on my shoulder, shaking me from my thoughts. "It's a rather....simple view of it.

"I know, but I'm conflicted. How am I supposed to know what's right? I've tried to turn to the Force for guidance, but still...I'm clouded... unsure."

"In this situation, I cannot say I blame you, but is these thoughts, the ones created by your fears and doubt, that the Council is concerned about. The ones that _I_ am concerned about. Your questioning can lead to many things, some better than others, but your confusion leaves you vulnerable to your emotions. To the Dark Side. Perhaps..."Kenobi trailed off and nodded thoughtfully to himself, before he placed a hand on my shoulder. "Come with me."

"Master?"

"I was just thinking that it might be time to visit an old friend." He said, cryptically. Kenobi removed his hand, and made his way towards the door, not even looking back to make sure I followed.

As the man turned to leave, I ran a hand over my shoulder. The faint warmth that remained from Kenobi's touch faded, as he walked away. Trailing behind him, I followed in silence. I had to contain my skepticism and confusion behind my mental barriers. Although I was a bit nervous about his sudden change of plans, I couldn't help but feel a rush of energy at the thought of something new. I suppose at this point, as long as it wasn't _more_ combat training, I would be happy.

That excitement was short-lived, however, as I found myself being lead out _away_ from the Jedi Temple. The same electric rush I had felt was now a source of anxiety and dread, as I silently questioned the actions of Master Kenobi, leading to yet _another_ series of senseless worries. In an attempt to find answers, I tried to sense the man's thoughts, as I walked by his side through the streets of Coruscant. Unsurprisingly, the man revealed nothing, no doubt having placed mental barriers to keep me out. However, I couldn't ignore the faint ripples of both concern and hope that surrounded him. If I wasn't so sensitive to emotions, I doubt I would have noticed.

With a sigh, I accepted that I would have to be patient to gain answers and instead turned my attention to the world around me. Mainly, the clear blue sky of the city-planet. Judging by the sun's position, it was well into the afternoon. A time when many would be returning home from the day's activities.

It was not the first time I'd been outside of the Temple-far from it really- but it was rare for me to be out during the daytime. Usually, my life as a Jedi required me to spend most of the day focused on training, leaving me to spend what free time I had long after the sun had passed over the towering buildings of planet-city. Now, with blue skies and busy traffic lanes, the city appeared to be full of life, only now it held a certain sense of calm. A contrast to the risky excitement I sensed during the night.

"Is something the matter?"

I blinked out of my thoughts, as I turned to face Obi-Wan. He was walking closer by my side than I had originally thought, perhaps to make sure we weren't separated. As I processed the sudden closeness, I found my gaze drawn to the man. Particularly, I was drawn to how the sunlight seemed to reflect through his hair, gold streaks peeking through auburn. Or how bright his blue eyes looked now. Once again, I was reminded...

_He truly is handsome._

"(Y/N)?" 

_Kriff._ I cursed the Maker for my slip up.

"S..sorry, Master Kenobi," I looked away, making sure my mental barriers were up. "I'm just not used to being outside of the Temple during the daytime, I suppose. I'm surprised by how... peaceful the city feels at this time of day."

As I spoke, I fought to suppress the rogue emotion I had felt just a moment before. I didn't even have the time to scold myself for such a misstep, before the two of us had to glide past a large group of people. As we did, I listened as the Jedi Master contemplated my words, his voice lowering with his mood.

"Yes, I suppose Coruscant is... not so pleasant after dark."

"Oh? I never said it wasn't pleasant." I corrected, my gaze returning to the man. "There are plenty of things to like, as long as you know your way around. It's just..different."

Finally turning back to the man, I watched as he placed a hand over his face, thinking for a moment. He raised a brow at me, questioning. "And why do you think that is?"

Part of me felt as though I was being tested. And yet, I felt nothing but sincerity in his words. Taking a moment, I tried to pinpoint why the city felt so different. Far calmer than the side of Coruscant I was used to.As I looked up to the sky, I raised a hand to block the shining sun. Thousands of speeding ships and vehicles passed overhead. It was almost similar, somewhat, to the Temple. Calm. Not as intense as the energy I was usually surrounded by... but calm, nonetheless. It radiated around me- _moved_ around me. Vibrations in the Force hummed softly. Not only around me, but also above.

"The people..." I answered. "I don't sense a lot of stress from them right now. They feel calm. Safe."

The Jedi nodded. " _Protected_."

Obi-Wan stopped in front of a building, staring up at it, with a small smile. If Obi-Wan Kenobi's cryptic actions and words were not enough to confuse me, this certainly did. Following the Jedi Master, I had expected our destination to be some place of major importance or familiarity. Since many Jedi made friends with political figures, due to past missions as bodyguards or negotiators, I had assumed that we were meeting one such friend, a Senator or Governor of the Republic, perhaps. Instead, the two of us now stood before a small building.

At the top of the building, a sign sat.

 _"Dex's Diner?"_ I read the words aloud, giving my mentor a look. "If you don't mind me saying...how exactly does a diner help me, Master Kenobi?"

"Patience, my Padawan." He said, as we approached the entrance.

Upon entering, I was surprised to see how busy the diner was. Customers of all kinds were seated around the restaurant, each having their own conversations. Some spoke in their native languages, while others spoke Basic. The combined noise of the diner's kitchen and the customers' voices had caused the staff to have to speak loudly, almost shouting to be heard. One particular worker, a waitress droid by the look of it, approached us. As she spoke, her "mouth" lit up with a bright yellow light. She told us both to take a seat by the counter, saying that she would help us in a minute.

I still wasn't sure why Obi-Wan had brought me here, or why he thought this would help me. It wasn't as though taking a walk through Coruscsant was suddenly going to make up my mind about whether or not the Jedi are doing the right thing by playing a part in the Clone War. 

_Still, I suppose I should be thankful for the change in scenery, if nothing else._

There was a loud crashing sound that came from the back, turning my attention towards a single doorway. From there, a large Besalisk man emerged. Almost immediately, the man's yellow eyes stopped on Obi-Wan, a large toothy smile spreading across his face.

"Obi-Wan! It's been too long!"

Rising from his seat, the Jedi Master mirrored his friend's large grin. As they greeted each other, I felt a deep fondness between the two. The two shared a hug, as the Besalisk man let out a laugh. Obi-Wan was the first to separate from the hug, as he returned to his seat, next to me.

"Hello, Dex." Master Kenobi said.

The diner worker came around the counter, standing in front of us, as he sent me a glance. "And who's this?"

"I'm Master Kenobi's Padawan, (Y/N)." I introduced myself.

" _Padawan_?" Dex echoed, his voice raised with surprise, before looking at Obi-Wan. "So then that means.."

"Anakin has been Knighted, shortly after the War began." Obi-Wan confirmed.

The two talked for a bit, reminiscing and joking with each other. As they did, I was offered a drink, which I gladly accepted. There were one or two times that the Diner owner spoke to me, mostly questions about my training. I had mostly stayed silent during the conversation, not truly focusing on whatever it was that they were saying. As a few minutes went by, I truly doubted that Obi-Wan had brought me here for any serious matter. At least, not until Dex began to talk about the Clone War.

"I've heard you've become quite the General, my friend. Some have even started calling you the Negotiator."

"Rather dramatic, don't you think?" Obi-Wan smirked, amused by this news.

"Take it as a compliment. To your skills as an _effective_ General." Dex brushed it off, before leaning over the counter. "Something not many of the Jedi have, that's for sure!"

I nearly choked on my drink in surprise by the man's sudden comment. A comment that some may have even considered rude. If it wasn't for the fact that Master Kenobi seemed to respect his opinion, I may have considered it offensive. However, the tone of his voice let me know that Dex was not just saying some biased opinion. There was knowledge behind it, something he knew that led him to that conclusion.

I finally spoke up to Dex, voicing my surprise. "You don't think the Jedi are effective?"

_So Dex and I shared the same opinion on the Jedi, at least in terms of the War..._

"Don't get me wrong, I support the Order." Dex spoke, sending a friendly smile to the two of us. "I've had a friendly relationship with the Jedi for as long as I can remember! But the fact is... you're peacekeepers. You _prevent_ wars, not fight 'em. Now, I'm not one to criticize anyone's ' _Code'_ , but I think it's what hold you back from doing what needs to be done."

Obi-Wan raised a brow, in disagreement. He stayed silent however, not revealing any further thoughts on the matter. Instead, he took a drink, and watched the two of us, gauging our conversation. As Dex spoke, he continued to work, grabbing plates of food off of the kitchen window, and handing them to either the waitress droid or the customers who sat near the countertop.

"What needs to be done?" I echoed back. "Surely, you don't mean you want _more_ violence?"

"Of course not, I'm just saying there could be better options. Faster options. People like me are the last ones who want to see the war continue. War profiteers have already caused trade prices to skyrocket. Bad for business."

"But..." I blinked, wrapping my head around the issue. "What would 'faster options' mean for the war, other than more reckless decisions? When do we take it too far? And what of the planets we fight on, and their people?"

Dex nodded, thoughtfully. "That _is_ a hard one, but that's politics for you. Always a choice between the _bad_ and the _worse_." 

It was a complicated matter, for sure, but even with my reservations about the Order's role in the War, I also couldn't ignore this. I hadn't even thought ahead, to how the War might play out, should the Jedi choose to leave the War. How that would effect the people.

"Well, I never liked politics that much." I sighed. "What's the point, if the decisions you make don't even help the people you represent?"

As pieces of thoughts fell into place, I could sense my Master's gaze on me. Still silent. Attempting to ignore it, I took a sip of my drink.

"Suppose that's why the Republic trusts the Jedi to fight their battles. You may not be the most effective soldiers, but you do care about the people," Dex's loud voice went soft as he spoke to me, a slight twinkle in his eyes. Something similar to pride radiated off him. No... not pride. Then what? "and hey, that's enough for me to respect it."

_Respect._

Even though he didn't think the Jedi should be leading the war effort, he still respected and support us. All because we thought of the people? Surely, it couldn't be as simple as that. And yet, the more I thought about it...the more it did make sense. The Republic hasn't seen a War this large in centuries. Even though there were plenty of military leader, each from their own systems, none had fought in a conflict of this size. None of them had fought for the _entire_ Republic. Truly, the Jedi Order were the only force that the Republic had, which was both trained in combat and were unbiased when it came to compassion, whether we were in battle or not. We cared about the people, and how the war effected them.

_Which is something I'm noticing less and less in people._

Finally, after a moment of silence ended the conversation, Obi-Wan finally spoke up, finishing his drink and getting up.

"I'm afraid we must be going soon," He spoke calmly, as I sensed a sort of satisfaction roll off his form. "How much do we owe you, old friend?"

Dex placed one of his four hands over his mouth, the fingers scratching through the brown and grey moustache on his face, before sending me a gentle smile.

"Don't worry about it, it's on the house- but _only_ because your new Padawan is so well-mannered!" He laughed, again. As I stood up from my seat, the man shook my hand, as a goodbye. Dex's eyes lit up, as a sly smirk fell over his face. "Speaking of which, tell Skywalker that he still owes me from last time! There's still a blaster mark from when he tried to arrest some Rodian fellow!"

Even if I didn't see it, I could hear the Jedi's eyes roll. "I'll make sure to tell him."

The two of us left, saying our goodbyes to the friendly diner worker and leaving out the way we came. As we did, I reflected on our conversation and how it played out. Something wasn't quite right, in my mind, a curious thought flooded my mind. Walking back down the street, the same way we came, I noticed how Coruscant's previously light blue sky had taken on an orange tint, signaling that the sun would be setting soon.

"Master Kenobi," I started, pulling the attention of the Jedi. "what Dex said about the Jedi....I think I understand a bit more now. But how did you know that coming here would help me?"

"I didn't."

I blinked, looking at Obi-Wan in surprise, as he continued to walk forward.

_Then how?_

I didn't even have the say the words for him to understand me, as I let my walls down and allowed my curiosity to seep out. In turn, the same satisfaction I had felt from my fellow Jedi radiated through the Force, as he dropped his mental barriers in return. 

"I simply let the Force guide me." He answered, a wisdom hidden behind his words.

I gazed at my Master, the warm tint of the sky reflecting on stray strands of his hair again. This time, giving the man a golden glow. I admired how casually regal he looked, how the way he carried himself reflected the wisdom and confidence he carried within. A striking contrast to doubts and questioning that plagued me. I was beginning to understand why, despite his seemingly young age, Obi-Wan had already been made a Jedi Master.

"Many of the Order feel similarly about the War, as you do, but we all have our reasons for fighting. It's how we conduct ourselves, that sets us apart."The man had been speaking to me, as I once again found myself lost in thought. I could only hope that with my mental barriers lowered, he had not noticed. "I had hoped that maybe a different perspective would help you find some clarity."

I still had my reservations about the War, but my conversation with Dex had made me consider new ideas. While it was true that the Jedi weren't meant to be soldiers, it was our values- our Code- that allowed us to act in the interest of the people. Why many felt that the Jedi were the best option, even if that meant we had to fight in order to restore the peace.

"I believe I have, thanks to your guidance."

It made me realize that maybe the Code and rules we followed were not as black-and-white as I had once believed.

And I began to wonder what else I had never considered before.


	8. The Senator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After rumors of a bounty hunter begin to spread, the Council is asked by an old friend to investigate.

I was meditating in my personal room, when my commlink lit up.

As I sat, emptying my thoughts and disappearing into the space between the real world and the Force, I felt the warmth of my own aura beam, shining through with growing strength. In the past week, I had become more sure of myself, doubting myself less and less. Part of it was due to Master Kenobi- no, Master _Obi-Wan's_ \- training, which practically forced me to be confident in my decisions. He had insisted that if I was ever going to complete my training, I'd have to trust both him and myself more.

_A task that was easier said than done._

After a few rough attempts, opening up and becoming more casual around the Jedi Master had gradually become easier, and was already starting to have a positive effect on my training. Already, the dark cloud of anxieties and fears was beginning to fade from me, as I was reminded of how I was before Master Ballari's disappearance. The Jedi that I was before, one that was so close to becoming a Jedi Knight. Of course, it wasn't as if all my problems had disappeared.

There were still times that I found myself relying the calming aura of Obi-Wan, a fact that made me feel ashamed and childish. Even more so, when I started to notice that the Jedi Master would occasionally project his aura to me, when he felt as though I could not calm myself on my own. It was then that I vowed to stop depending on him so much. I still had plenty to learn and still had to work through controlling my emotions. And yet, in such a short time, I'd already made more progress than I'd ever made during the months I had spent alone.

There was something about Obi-Wan that just made it easier. He was highly critical. Almost a perfectionist in many ways, but he never made me feel as though I was lesser. Though, there were times when he couldn't help but make a sarcastic comment, usually in reply to anytime I felt frustrated and made a comment of my own under my breath. Other than that, he usually spoke with a gentle encouragement, believing in my own abilities far more than I ever had.

My former Master was an intimidating older woman of very few words. And while she had believed in me, she did not usually acknowledge my achievements with words. And while Kenobi's compliments were rare, it was still far more than I had ever received under Sinna. It was different. Hard to get used to.

 _Maker,_ I still couldn't hold back the heat that rushed to the back of my neck, or the way my throat went dry with embarrassment, as I struggled to form a proper reply. All I'd ever been able to manage was a weak and hesitant thank you, before quickly changing the subject back to my training or studies. But even hours after, his words of praise would haunt my thoughts, though I didn't quite know why.

Like I said, it was. _..Different_.

Another beeping sound from my commlink rang through the room.

This time, it snapped me from my meditative state. Or what was left of it, as my mind had begun to wander. Pulling the device to my hand, I slowly opened my eyes, my sight adjusting easily to the shaded space of my room. It was a simple notification, I'd been summoned by the Council to meet in one of the communication rooms. I let a small spike of anxiety pass through me, before I was calm once more. Sending back a quick reply, I got up from the edge of my bed, grabbed my lightsaber, and left the sanctuary of my room.

Part of me wondered why I was being called, but at this point in the War, I shouldn't be surprised. Every Jedi, save for the younglings and the Jedi Masters who cared for them, were constantly being sent out by the Council, each with their own respective mission or task. Honestly, I was mostly surprised that Obi-Wan and I had not been summoned _before_ now. He was one of the most successful Generals they had, if the rumors Dex had mentioned were to be believed. The fact that we'd been graced with a week of peace was ,truthfully, a miracle.

As I passed through the Jedi Temple, I found myself running my hands over my Jedi robes at an excessive rate. There was a slight needle sensation that went through my head telling me to do one thing: _Fix,Fix, Fix._ This was the first time I'd be seeing any of the Council, save for Master Mundi, since I'd been made Obi-Wan's Padawan. I felt as though any wrinkle in my clothes would be enough for them to decide I wasn't worthy of being a Jedi, that I didn't have what it takes.

Yet _another_ delusional and irrational fear, but a fear even so. I tried to do as Obi-Wan has told me, to let the emotion run its course and to calm myself once the worst had passed. The process was slow now, but once I got used to it, I'd be able to control my fears.

Now, as I was about halfway there, I felt a shift in the Force. The familiar feeling of light and warmth that I was growing used to, already projecting outwards towards me. In an attempt to calm me. I already knew who it was, and waited until he was within an arms length to speak.

" _Don't._ "

The word came out a bit harshly, as I placed a mental wall between us. I turned, and gave a small nod to Obi-Wan, relaxing a bit. "Master. I wondered if they were calling you too. It seems I was right."

His blue eyes stared into my own, never breaking away. He spoke casually, getting straight to the point. "You're nervous."

"It'll pass." I replied. "Besides, what good will all my training do, if you won't even give me the chance to do it on my own?"

"Very well, though it would help to not be so _loud_ with your worries. I'm sure theres a Youngling somewhere, scared half to death by whatever fears plague your thoughts." 

There was a sarcasm in his voice, letting me know he was joking. At least partially.

"My thoughts aren't that loud." I was sure of it. "Perhaps you're just _listening_ too closely."

Perhaps it was a combination of both options. In the last week, a bond had formed between us, which allowed us to become more aware of the other. Of our Force signatures, our thoughts, our emotions. A Master and Padawan Bond.

This bond was similar to the one I once shared with Sinna, but was significantly weaker. It had formed faster than I had expected, but I just assumed it was due to my experience. Forming a stable bond with Sinna had taken years, when I was just barely more than a Youngling, and had need a lot of patience on my Master's part. And when her patience paid off, our bond was stronger because of it. So strong, that we would be able to sense the other's exact location in the Jedi Temple, through the Force alone.

The new bond I shared with the blond man next to me was not as strong. If I truly wanted to hide my worries from him, I could do so with general ease. All the bond could do right now was make it easier for me to sense him. Easier for him to sense me. It was like seeing the face of an old friend in a crowd of strangers, only it was our aura's in the combined Light of the Temple.

"I don't suppose you know what the Council is calling us for?" I asked, as the two of us entered an elevator that would lead us to the communications tower. 

"I'm afraid not, though even if I did, I doubt it would make you feel any better."

"You're probably right."

As the doors of the elevator closed, we both gave a small chuckle. Me, to help calm my nerves. As for Obi-Wan, he was probably just surprised at my response. Regardless, I was starting to feel considerably more at ease, now that I had company to distract me. Once we reached the correct floor, the two of us made our way to our destination. There, waiting for us, were a handful of Jedi. Master Yoda was waiting, as well as Masters Windu and Plo Koon, who were present through holograms. However, despite the presence of three Council members, my attention was drawn to the two remaining figures. Anakin Skywalker and a woman I had never seen before. I didn't need the Force to tell that she was no Jedi, but still held great importance.

"Master Kenobi," Windu greeted, in his usual and intimidating tone. His dark eyes flicked to me for a moment, assessing me. "Padawan (L/n)."

"Masters." I gave a small bow of my head, in acknowledgement.

Obi-Wan did the same, giving an identical bow to his fellow Masters, before turning to the woman by Anakin's side. Once more, a fondness was there, barely noticeable. A friend. "Senator Amidala, what a surprise to see you here."

"Master Kenobi," The Senator greeted, a gentle pleasantness in her voice. "Thank you for coming."

"I suppose this means that this will not be normal briefing after all? For something to bring you all the way here..."

She nodded, grimly, confirming the man's suspicions. "I wish it were under better circumstances."

Anakin, who had been standing beside the Senator, stepped forwards, addressing everyone in the room. There was a seriousness that surrounded him, more than usual. He was guarded, more so than he had been on the battlefield. Unusual, for most. Perhaps this is just how he was though. "Senator Amidala has informed me about disturbing rumors, which threaten members of the Senate."

"Rumors? _What_ rumors?"

Windu was quick with his response, his tone already giving signs of his disapproval. Rumors, is what brought us all here.

"There have been whispers about an upcoming attack on small leaders of the Republic. Most are mere rumors, generally just grudges between feuding Senators." Amidala explained, looking to the Jedi Masters with worry. "I'd usually dismiss such a small threat, and was going to... until now. This was found in Senator Organa's office this morning." She pulled out a hologram, turning on the device. The message depicted a language unknown to me. Judging by the look on the Senator's face however, it was clearly a direct message to Organa. A threat.

The Jedi thought for a moment, before Plo Koon lifted his head, facing the Senator. "As disturbing as this news is, there is the possibility that this was sent merely as a political tactic. An investigation best left to the authorities. Forgive me, Senator, but you must understand that we cannot afford to spend time tracking down rumors."

"I agree." Windu chimed in. "Unless there is a specific reasoning behind why they chose to send a threat _now_ , I do not see this as an imminent danger."

"I believe there is. Senator Organa is currently the leader of a humanitarian movement, which would allow refugees from neutral planets who have been impacted by the war to seek refuge on a handful of Republic-controlled systems. The first stages of his plans were recently approved by the Senate." Amidala continued. "There are many who believe that the neutral systems should not be given Republic aid, and are working to destroy his efforts. It wasn't until then that I heard rumors of a possible assassination attempt. And now that we've received a direct message, I believe that Senator Organa's life is in imminent danger."

"Strange, this is. The Hunter, bold they must be. To send a message _before_ an attack." Master Yoda hummed to himself, skeptical.

I was thinking exactly the same thing as the elder Jedi. It seemed strange, and yet... I could not disregard the Senator's worry for her friend. I glanced over at the woman, who was not much older than me, and sensed her emotions. There was worry, focus, and... fondness? _Again_ , that emotion came up. The Senator was giving a glance to Anakin, who met her stare. The seriousness that surrounded him turned wary. It was there for just a moment, but I was certain. Anakin was wary, but of what? Of who?

"Or inexperienced." 

The voice of Obi-Wan, by my side, startled me from my observation.

"I sense there may be a danger. I do not believe that Senator Amidala would try and waste our time on rumors, if she did not fully believe them herself. If these rumors are true, it would be wise to protect the Senator." Kenobi said.

The words of a Jedi Master were highly respected. The words of a Master, such as Obi-Wan, were even more so. Perhaps thats why both Plo Koon and Windu seemed satisfied with the answer, giving their approval to the plan. Yoda seemed lost in thought, before he eventually agreed. Now it was just a matter of _who_ would protect Senator Organa.

"I don't suppose there's a reason why you aren't volunteering to protect the Senator?" Obi-Wan asked Anakin. "Here I thought you loved to play the hero."

"And let you miss out on all the fun?" Anakin shot back.

Master Windu cleared his throat, grabbing the attention of the two men. "Skywalker is being sent to the Corellian system to push back Separatist forces. Given your good relations with Senator Organa, Senator Amidala requested for you and your Padawan to take on the job."

Windu gave a look to Master Yoda. The Jedi Grandmaster would be the one who had the final say in the matter. The old Jedi nodded. "Master Kenobi, Padawan (L/n). Protect the Senator, you shall."

"Very well." Kenobi sighed, looking to the Senator. "You don't need to worry, Padmé. Senator Organa is in good hands."

_So her name is Padmé.._

With that matter settled, the three Jedi Masters dismissed themselves, no doubt running off to address more important issues. At least, thats what I told myself, as I watched Master Yoda walk out of the communications room. Now, the only ones who remained in the room were me, Kenobi, Skywalker, and the Senator. 

"So, who's this?"

Padmé was the first one to speak, as a small tension filled the room. That same wariness from before. The woman looked at me, giving me a sweet smile. I stepped towards her, introducing myself with a bow.

"I'm Master Obi-Wan's Padawan." I told her my name. "It's an honor to meet you."

She smiled. "The honor is mine. Any friend of Obi-Wan and Anakin is a friend of mine."

_Friends._

I looked at the trio, and there certainly was friendship there. The same fondness I had sensed in Obi-Wan when we visited Dex's Diner. However, I could not ignore the strange tension in Anakin, his wariness. What was he guarding himself from? Is it me? Before, it made sense in the presence of the Jedi Masters, but now? With only his former Master and Senator friend, he was still on edge. I could only assume it was due to my presence. Though, there was a possibility that it was because of the Senator, but why?

I must have been staring for a moment too long, because Obi-Wan came by my side, giving me a subtle look. In just one expression, it was as though I could hear my Master saying: _Ignore it._ As quickly as it happened, his expression fell away to his usual demeanor. With his infamous smile, Master Kenobi looked to Padmé, talking for a moment, before finally wrapping up the conversation.

"I suppose we shouldn't waste much time, if Senator Organa is truly in as much danger as you believe." Obi-Wan said, turning away from his two friends.

My Master gave me a glance, signalling me to follow him, as he left. I glanced between Anakin and Padmé, still curious about the strange emotions that surrounded them.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, Senator Amidala, I hope we see each other again." I gave my farewell to her. Then to Anakin. "It was good to see you again, Master Skywalker. May the Force be with You."

"And with you."

I turned to leave, walking quickly to catch up with Obi-Wan, who had already made it outside of the room. As I left, the door to the communications room shut behind me. And almost as soon as it did, I felt a new sensation. It was subtle. I wouldn't have noticed it, even, had it not been for the fact that the wariness I had felt before was suddenly absent. It's heavy, suffocating feeling was now replaced by a lightness. Like a breath of fresh air, after being trapped underwater. And in it, there was a warmth.

But it was not fondness. It was not friendliness. It took me a moment, but I suddenly realized...

I did not know what this feeling was.

~~~

Cantham House was the Coruscant home to the Alderaanian Senator.

While the entire building housed various members of the Alderaan system's government, the penthouse suite of Cantham was the Senator's private residence. I didn't know what to expect, if I had expected anything at all. The architecture of the building was much different than the standard Coruscant design you'd see anywhere else, and instead shared similarities with the architecture of Alderaan, itself. At least, that's what Obi-Wan had told me, as I stared in awe at the long hallway, which made up the buildings entrance. Enormous pillars lined the path, while the walls were paneled by a type of wood I had never seen before, which had a spiral texture. Windows were not a standard rectangular shape, but rather an oval shape. And once we reached our destination, the Senator's suite, I immediately noticed the dome roof that formed the top of the building. The roof had glass skylights, which let me gaze up into the sky above. There were no ships or vehicles overhead, blocking the view. A luxury that many on Coruscant never knew.

Any yet, despite the grandness of Cantham House, I knew from experience that even this would be deemed modest by most leadership's standards. I shutter at what they might think of the Jedi Temple and our private quarters. Taking a step off of the building's elevator, both me and Obi-Wan were escorted by a droid to take us to Bail Organa. The tan man greeted us, respectfully addressing the two of us and thanking us for our time. Like with Padmé, it seemed as though the two had already met. However, I did not feel the same bond of friendship between the two. Instead, a mutual respect. 

"Senator, I'm sure you know why we're here."

Bail sighed, sounding almost tired, rather than distressed. "Yes. The threat I received in my office this morning. I told Senator Amidala that I was concerned about security, but didn't realize she would go to the Council."

"Are you not afraid that you are in danger?" I asked, cautiously. "If there truly is a bounty on your head, I believe it'd be alarming to know that your hunter was easily able to send you a direct message."

"Of course, but my priorities lie in focusing on the task at hand. Ending the War, and helping the people who are effected by it." Organa reasoned, taking a seat in his office, his voice far too calm. "Something that many in the Republic and Separatist Senates seem to dislike. Rumors, like the ones I face now, are not new to me, especially now. I appreciate that the Jedi have given up their time for me, but if I had it my way, I'd prefer it if we did not waste more time on mere security issues."

Obi-Wan spoke politely, in voice I wasn't quite used to yet. The same one he'd used while talking to the Geonosian Queen. Yes, polite... but somehow, back-handed. "I agree, Senator, and appreciate your efforts, but even so, the Council has agreed. You may be in imminent danger, and until we have found either the rumors to be false, or the bounty hunter, my Padawan and I will be here to protect you."

Reluctantly, Senator Organa accepted defeat on the matter, perhaps knowing that Obi-Wan would not budge. Organa was willing to open his home to us, allowing us to use two of the several guest bedrooms that he owned. Settling into my new surroundings was not difficult, as I hadn't packed much to begin with. However, I felt a bit out of place in such a setting. The Jedi Order never cared about material possessions, so many of the Order, including myself, were not used to such luxuries. This single guest room alone had a private kitchen, bathroom, and balcony. Not to mention all the expensive-looking furnishing. It wasn't unbearable. In fact, I might even find myself liking it, once I got used to it.

Once I was properly settled, I immediately left the guest room and made my way back into the large common room of the home, where Senator Organa and Obi-Wan were quietly talking.

"I'm going to return to Alderaan, to oversee a group of refugees seeking shelter on my planet."

I didn't hear Obi-Wan's reply, as I found myself gazing back up to the skylight above me. By now, the sun had already set behind the towering skyscrapers of Coruscant, and the once-orange glow in the sky gave way to a dark blue hue. Three of the four moons were visible, reflecting back their silver light. I could even see some stars.

Bail Organa's voice was stern, catching my attention. "No, I will not delay this trip any longer. The people need me."

"I would advise against it, Senator. The threat against you proves that whoever is attacking you is confident enough to let us know they can break past your security." A hand came up to the Jedi Master's face. "If you leave now, that may encourage them."

"I understand, but I have a duty. A job. I can't just sit, wait, and do nothing while this War continues to force people from their homes. And you know as well as I do that _you_ , General, cannot remain here forever. And I doubt the Council have enough enough free time to spend on rumors, no matter how concerning they are." Bail continued, his talent as a public speaker shining through. "I will continue to be in danger until my pursuer reveals themself. So if they feel _encouraged_ , as you put it, then let them. The sooner they reveal themselves, the sooner we can work towards bigger issues."

There was a moment of silence between the two men. I could practically feel the wheels turning in Obi-Wan's head, as he debated whether or not he should keep arguing about the best course of action with Organa. If I hadn't known any better, I almost thought they hadn't noticed my presence. Analyzing their words, I tried to think of what my old Master had done in the past, in similar situations. 

Politics made things complicated, even before the War. You placed certain individuals into a position of power and importance, under a completely unique set of believes and goals to that person. It wasn't as simple as just placing Senator Organa under security and waiting it out. Organa had a position that couldn't be replaced, and a set of tasks that only he could do. Responsibilities he had that directly effect the lives of him people. He couldn't just ignore that. Of course, I also couldn't allow the Senator to willing place himself into danger. Not only because it was my job to protect him, but because it just felt wrong. Like we were using him as bait. And should things go the wrong way...

"Perhaps we could try a different solution?"

I was surprised by how calm my voice sounded, as I approached the two. And I wasn't alone, it seemed. As I summoned any form of self-confidence to speak, I felt the full weight of their brown and blue gazes. Bail gave me a nod, to continue.

"Go on, Padawan."


End file.
